It was a part of my agreement that I could leave the house on weekend . That was something which I was really grateful for. Being locked up inside the Bigg boss house for more than four months was stressful but staying locked inside the same house again for a different show,without him was suffocating. Staying in the same place but not having him around made me mad,it made me miserable. Everytime I'd look at the places where we used to spend our time together,I'd end up crying. It was not supposed to be like this. I was not supposed to be this sad,this miserable. I thought that I made the right decision by getting away from him,by choosing my fans,my career and the channel.It was the only option left for me anyways because I'm nothing more than a friend to him. But everytime I think about us,think about-him,I feel an unbearable pain deep inside me. Something which I can never explain in words. It's getting difficult to cover up how miserable I feel. Almost everyone around me can see it. They've seen me crying and they know the reason behind it.
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Today was finally an off from my stressful working schedule.This is the second week only and I already feel like I've been doing this show since two months.I could go out today . I could see him. Yes, him. I could see Sidharth. The first time I saw him on my sets,well technically the second time-during my first break on the weekend,I was shocked. I didn't expect to see him again. The fact that I got to see him without asking him to come and see me was surprising. I was really taken aback by the sudden surprise but I was happy I was just so happy that I didn't want to question him about it and ruin the moment. I ran straight into his arms. He took me to his place last week. I met his family and had dinner with them. Honestly,I didn't expect any of it. I didn't expect him to take me with him,I never expected that he would make me meet his entire family. I was beaming with joy the entire time. He had a cute but really weird expression the entire time I was with his family. Maybe somewhere all of this was going really fast for him.But he still did it. He did it to make me feel comfortable. But I really didn't want to ruin anything by asking him why he's doing all of this for me. The more questions I'll ask the more distant he'll get. And I don't want that. I don't want that that any cost. So whenever I'm with him I make sure I don't ask any questions. I'm fine with how things are going right now.At least, I have him with me and that's all what matters to me.
He told me that he'd take me to try out Mediterranean food this time.And I just can't wait for it.
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