Mauve | Lucifer x Reader (Angst/Fluff)

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This one shot happens somewhere during the feast that you and the brothers have after Lucifer and Satan switch back to their own bodies. Belphegor is not a part of this yet.
I might add sketches to fanfictions later on if I have time.
Word count: 2414.

          Mindless chatter filled the room. The distinct clink of knives and forks hitting ceramic plates rushed in to any silent gaps that chatter couldn't fill. Above the noise, I could hear Mammon stroking his own ego, followed by the disappointed sighing from Satan and Lucifer as they tried to enjoy their dinner. On the other end of the table were Levi and Beel, disputing about whose passion was more pointless. Obviously, this was spurred on by Asmodeus, who sat opposite myself. Entertained, he looked on at the two bickering brothers, a small grin on his face. Off in the distance, I could hear Diavolo's hearty laugh as Barbatos smiled in response.
         Hesitantly, though, my eyes wandered downwards to the plate before me. In that moment, it seemed like such a daunting task. The bright lights adorning the chandelier above us reflected off of the white dish, causing the food to glisten with an almost sickening shimmer. Perhaps it would have been more appealing if I didn't feel so ill eating as of late.
         If I were honest, I brought it on myself. Certainly, it was all of the pent-up stress I had accumulated over these three weeks. In RAD, it was exam season and, while it was tough in my world, it is significantly worse when every exam is regarding a world I have only been introduced to a few months ago. At least I could have winged most of my exams if I were back home, but it's nigh on impossible to wing a Devildom exam with human logic. In a desperate attempt to compensate for my lack of previous knowledge, after Lucifer's nightly room inspection, I would immediately return to studying. Then, I'd continue doing so into the early hours of the morning. Deep down, my main motivation was to avoid disappointing Lucifer further, of all people. It was ridiculous, really. I had fallen head-over-heels for a demon who only viewed me as a liability.
          But, I had no intention of stopping now, not after all of the hours I've already invested. It was right around the corner. Using the final bits of willpower I had, I planned on breezing through the exams before (hopefully) entering some form of hibernation. Right now, though, four hours of sleep a night is causing my skin to break out and for the bags under my eyes to turn almost a mauve-purple.
          I needed to wake myself up, I thought, and a splash of water would do the trick.
          "Excuse me a minute, I'll be right back." I uttered to anyone who heard me, before placing my cutlery down as gently as I could. Standing up, I swiftly pushed my chair back under the table.
          Throughout the meal, Lucifer consistently took short glances at the plate that remained the same. It had been that way for at least a week now. Slowly, the amount of food eaten would decrease day by day. In his chest, he felt the need to mention it. This would be the perfect time.
          Lucifer perked his eyebrows upwards, putting his fork down elegantly, "May I have a word with you first, [Y/N]? Now?"
          He had already left his seat to lead me to a discreet location. Taking a deep breath, I reluctantly agreed under my breath. Disagreeing would only anger him.
          Trailing sluggishly after him with a racing heart, Lucifer led me to one of the empty halls. Gulping in fear, I looked upwards to the lights. They were dimmer here, but still strong enough to outline Lucifer's features as he stopped in his tracks to face me, my back close to the wall. Menacingly, his shadow loomed tall over me.
          He lowered his gaze as he spoke, a certain gentleness clinging to his words, "Why haven't you eaten much as of late, [Y/N]?"
          "I'm just... not hungry," I shrugged. Technically, I wouldn't be lying. What I fear though is the fact that my exhaustion is clouding my judgement. It gave me a boldness that I didn't want or need to have with Lucifer.
          Shaking his head in disappointment, he continued to lecture, "You have to eat."
          As his eyes met mine, I could see his gaze subtly wander downwards to the deep hue of the bags under my eyes. Lightly, his gloved thumb approached my face, gently touching the soft, purple skin. His eyebrows creased in response to the sight. Instinctively, I stepped back from the contact, my back flush against the wall. He cussed quietly to himself before continuing.
          "How much sleep have you been getting, [Y/N]?" He interrogated, his gaze hardening. The sound of my name on his lips sent a chill down my spine every time.
          "Eight hours." I lied, out of habit from lying to the other brothers. But, perhaps this lie is the worst I've ever told. I bit my tongue in regret.
          Harshly, he chuckled sarcastically, "Do you think this is a joke? You look like you haven't slept in a fortnight," He stepped closer, closing the gap between us. My breathing hitched in my throat. He leaned down to stare directly into my eyes, a growl in his voice, "How many hours of sleep have you been getting?"
          I averted my gaze, rolling my eyes in the process, "Four hours," I admitted. Hanging my head low, I had hoped I could keep my revision schedule under wraps. But, with the way Lucifer is coaxing the truth out of me, I wouldn't be surprised if my legs collapsed from under me - from the fear or from the blood pumping around me.
          Letting out another sigh, his gaze softened, his eyes still furrowed as he spoke, "How long has this been going on for?"
          "I think... three weeks?"
          "Why are you sleeping such short hours?"
          Mimicking his chuckle earlier, I responded snarkily, staring directly into his firebrick eyes, "Considering the time of year, what do you expect, hm?"
          Gritting his teeth, he snarled in response, the animalistic growl from earlier having a stronger presence in his words, "Don't get cocky with me. Why are you staying awake for so long, and I will not repeat myself."
          In defeat, I lowered my shoulders and gaze, "I'm just doing a bit of extra revision at night, is all. It's a tough time for me. Is there something wrong with me revising?" I asked, lightheadedness beginning to kick in from all of the talking.
          Lucifer's resolve began to crack, displaying an inner conflict in his eyes. Strands of his hair began to come undone, making his hair look unkempt. Raising his voice, he resumed his scolding. "A 'bit of extra revision' is an understatement. All you've slept these three weeks is a total of 84 hours. That is hardly enough, especially for a human." He examined my face before regaining his composure. Combing his loose hairs back, his voice returned to its softer state. It almost tricked me into believing he cared, "You already have relatively good grades for a brand new transfer student. You have to take better care of yourself. I can't prevent you from making your own ridiculous decisions, but I do ask that you take my advice."
          My eyes began to observe his face, frantically searching for a scrap of proof that he understood even the smallest fraction of my point of view. But, of course, all that I found was a cold expression directed at myself. Of course, he never cared for me. I am still the liability.
          "Ridiculous? Ridiculous?! I'm doing your exchange programme proud, am I not? That is what you're here about, after all. You're concerned that I'll make your exchange programme look bad. Am I right?" I prattled, hurt and unsure.
          A puzzled and slightly offended look washed over Lucifer's face, "When, during this conversation, did I mention the exchange programme? I have only been talking about your wellness and your poor management of it. If you were to be unwell, I wouldn't know what Diavolo-"
          "There you go again!" I interrupted, my eyes beginning to water as the anger caused my blood to boil, "It's always 'Diavolo' this, 'Diavolo' that. Look, I get it, Lucifer. You're doing this on behalf of your pal rather than for anything else."
          "Watch your mouth, [Y/N]. Diavolo and I have been close friends for a long time. I make sure his every wish is granted. I am warning you, one more word out of your mouth and I will not hesitate to permanently shut you up. I don't want to do it, [Y/N]." He snapped, his arm resting against the wall besides my right ear. As an intimidation tactic, he lowered his head awfully close to my own. But, I couldn't care less. I was going to give him a piece of my mind and at least die with a load off my chest.
          With a small yelp from the pain in my heart, my eyes continued to water as my mouth rambled on and on, "Just stop trying to play nice with me. I know where your priorities lie, Lucifer, and that none of them consist of me. Spare us both with the act and stop pretending that I am anywhere near your top one hundred because I already know that if Diavolo weren't involved, you'd... you'd leave me to die."
          
"That's enough, [Y/N]."
          "Do you know who I don't want disappointed if I fail? Do you know who is the only one who will degrade me even if I did it to spare them the shame? Do you know who I'm doing all this for? Go on. Take the wildest guess. Go on."
          "[Y/N]."
          At this point, tears had begun to fall from my eyes, but who would care? Lucifer would most likely be in such a blind rage sooner or later that I had already commited suicide verbally, so I spoke and spoke and spoke, shouting at the top of my lungs. "You, Lucifer. I'm doing this for you. But, no matter what, you never seem to even give a shit. No matter what I do, you still feel the need to put your own dignity above mine and degrade me. I guess I shouldn't have expected any less from the avatar of pride. How could pride themselves ever fall the way I did?-"
          As I rattled off the inner monologue that had been plaguing my thoughts, I was swiftly interrupted with a cautious hand caressing my face, before a soft sensation spread across my lips, which I quickly learned was Lucifer's own lips. His body was pressed flush against my own, the warmth spreading from his body to mine as he pushed me tighter against the wall. I shut my eyes, savouring the moment as much as I could. The blood rushed to my cheeks as my lightheadedness started to have physical effects on my body. It felt unreal.
          What was a few seconds felt like minutes, and if I could freeze time, I would have remained in that moment forever. But, he had pulled away gently, his hand wiping away the tears that had fallen. Maintaining eye contact, he smiled in a bittersweet way.
          He leaned in a little closer to my ear for intimacy, almost in an apologetic way, "I never meant to make you feel insignificant, [Y/N]. I'm... sorry. I find it... difficult to overcome my... pride." Lucifer gave a gentle laugh at his struggle to apologise, before resuming. His regretful tone made my heart flutter in my chest. Low and soothing, his voice was all I needed to hear in the moment. "I berate you because I care about you, not on Diavolo's behalf. I.. I couldn't think of any other reason as to why I wanted you to be safe other than 'it is Diavolo's wish.' Until I came to terms with the feelings that you stirred within me, I treated you like I would one of my brothers. I cared about them and they're safe, so I thought the same would... well, work. I would worry about you endlessly; could I protect you whenever you left the house of lamentation? Could I protect you whenever you were here? But...in the end, I couldn't protect you from yourself."
          I wiped away my tears before smiling to myself, and responding sheepishly, "I'm sorry. I didn't know you worried so much. If I had known, I wouldn't have stressed you out."
          Lucifer pressed his forehead against mine as he spoke, "You didn't know... I didn't let you know. Every one of my brothers longs for you. I thought it would have been better to let one of them have you. If I pushed you away, you couldn't fall for me. But... I guess I didn't do a good enough job, did I?"
          "It's for the best, Lucifer," I mumbled, "It's for the best..." My lightheadedness finally washed over my body as my mind slipped into a deep sleep. Unconsciously, my arms wrapped themselves around Lucifer's firm body, clinging on lifelessly to his.
          The last thing I heard was Lucifer's low voice brushing close to my ear, "Your body must be exhausted. Have an early night tonight."
          ...
          Stirring gently awake, a familiar warmth enveloped me. With heavy eyelids, I opened my eyes, only to be greeted with the glistening shimmer of moonlight as it crept through the window. Its faint hues tinted the pale bed sheets that hugged my body. Light reflected off of dust particles as they glided through the air. Sluggishly, I took a glance at my bedside clock as it read - two A.M.
          As I turned to lay on my side, a quiet hum arose from the edge of the bed. Curious, I faced the sound, only to be met with the inky black of Lucifer's hair, laying undisturbed on my bed. Peacefully, it appears that Lucifer had leant forward, asleep in his seat with his arms as a makeshift pillow. He looked so calm, and I didn't want to rob that from him. One of Lucifer's hands were outstretched. Hoping not to wake him, I reached over with my own and subtly wrapped my fingers around his. I could get used to this.

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 25, 2020 ⏰

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