The Road to Forgiveness Be Damned

For Her Sake

A scream rang out into the night, jolting Ferreth awake. His heart raced as he quickly sat up on the couch, his eyes darting about the room. He strained his ears to pick up something, anything, and he heard it. Sobbing, coming from Ven's room. Throwing off the blanket, he ran down the hallway and stopped at her door. He didn't bother knocking and barged into her room.

Ven was sitting up in bed, hugging her knees as she cried. Her body was curled up so tight... He could barely understand the words that were falling out of her mouth but they were clear enough for him to confirm what he suspected.

"Why couldn't it have been me? Why wasn't it me? Why did I live? Why couldn't it have been me?!"

This wasn't like the other times her nightmares had woken her up. She'd shrug it off and try to go back to sleep or power through the night. Not this, though. This was his first time seeing her like this and it broke his heart.

He knelt beside her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at him, her eyes red and puffy and her hair disheveled. More tears spilled over her cheeks as she latched on to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck and her hands gripping the front of his shirt. He brought her closer, rubbing his thumb along her arm to console her.

"Ferreth, I...I..."

"Shh, it'll be okay. I'm here."

"S-stay with me, please...please..."

His arms tightened around her as he nosed through her hair. It hurt to know that he couldn't take away her pain. He couldn't just wish it away or take it upon himself. The familiar feeling of helplessness crept up again and he could do nothing about it. If she wanted him to stay with her, he'd do it. If being with her meant she'd feel better for a little while, then that's all that mattered.

Still holding her, he carefully slid onto the bed, attempting to not disturb her more. It was uncomfortably small, definitely not for someone of his stature. He had to curl his legs up and bend his neck down to avoid bumping his head against the headboard. He had an arm draped over her waist and the other awkwardly folded underneath his head. Tonight would NOT be a good night for sleep.

She had quieted down some, though he could still hear her sniffling. There was nothing he could say to brighten the mood. Instead, he chose to look out the cracked window to gaze at the silvery full moon in the sky. It was as beautiful as always, its gentle light blanketing the village in a soft grayish blue.

What would tomorrow, or more like today, bring? It was the day they needed to report back to Filaurel about the completion of their task. He'd be lying if he said he didn't know what her verdict would be.

He'd never say it to her. He tried, he really wanted to try, but he just couldn't find it within himself to believe that she was going to be forgiven. Not because he thought she didn't deserve it but Filaurel wouldn't give her that. She was too stuck in her prejudiced beliefs to forgive her. Even if she did, she'd somehow find a way to twist it to not mean anything and leave her devastated. Either way, Ven would be walking out of Thal Esari, picking up the pieces of her broken heart.

Upon noticing the silence, he looked down to see her sleeping. He felt relieved; she needed all the rest she could get. He began carding his fingers through her hair to settle down the anxiety bundle bouncing around in his stomach.

This poor girl has undergone so much pain in her short life. There's no counting how many times she's wanted to give up, to run away from it all. Yet she still found the strength to resist those temptations, the courage to come back here and ask for forgiveness. Her bravery and fortitude are just small parts of herself that he, along with many others, admire her for. Only in his wildest dreams would he even think of coming close to being like her...