Word Scribbles

12/6/19

"Goodbye," the words slipped past my lips as my eyes fluttered shut. My hand slipped from his dropped to the ground. It was over, too late for me. As I felt my heart slow and my breathing stop I remembered all the things I thought I had forgotten, all the memories I'd suppressed. Every time I walked into a room and forgot what I was looking for, I remembered now. I remembered my first steps, my first word, I even remember the face of the nurse that took me out of my mother. But I also remembered the things I wanted to forget.

I remember sitting on the playground watching the other children play. Watching as the teachers told them to ask me to join them. I remember the looks in their eyes as they were forced to ask me to play. I remember the word no passing my lips and feeling so bitter because even in elementary I just wanted to be wanted.

I remembered every time a fight got to personal, every argument that went too far and hurt me. I remembered when it went to far and I hurt them, the look in their eyes that simply said I'd gone to far. I remembered the friendly debates tat turned to personal bashing. I remembered the people that left me behind. I remembered walking 10 feet behind my class because I couldn't go that fast and I remember no one noticing my absence.

The last thing I remembered were the deep blue eyes like sapphires glazed with tears pleading for me to come back.