Tortured Souls

Chapter 15

I woke up to the warmth of the sun. My shirt had ridden up to my chest so the heat was mainly concentrated on my lower back. The spot next to me was light, empty. Sam and Dean usually leave for a job before the sun is up. When I first got to Bobby's I would get up with them to have a coffee with Dean before he left. After a while I stopped doing it because I never knew how to say goodbye to Dean. Again, I'm not really the one for romance. And my dad sure as hell wasn't going to teach me anything on the subject.

Lately, I found it more and more difficult to get out of bed. Without being able to hunt I felt useless. I had no purpose when I was stuck inside. I didn't even want to face Bobby because I felt disarmed. Hunting was my security blanket, and it left before the sun with Sam and Dean. The physical pain had subsided, but my emotional pain got worse. No longer was I aching to escape the emotional entrapment that are the Winchester's, but I was internalizing something. I'm not quite sure what yet. I know it is somehow related to the questions I couldn't get out of my mind.  Why were there so many demons at the church with Max? Why was it Max they chose to groom? How was it that I of all people came upon the case first, and screw it up so terribly?

I had genuinely fucked up an entire life with Max. Beyond that I exorcised a room full of demons. I have no clue how, and I can't think of anyone who would be able to harness that power except satan himself. Hell I didn't even know someone could do it without even finishing the full exorcism. Actually, I don't think anyone could do that. I run my hand through my bed head and groan. All this time I'm thinking about my own pain and being the dependent my dad warned me I would become. I hadn't even thought about the little but not so little detail that I hadn't even finished the exorcism. To be fair, it was an ancient one so I didn't even realize I left it hanging when the plume of smoke blew up at me. I hadn't finished the exorcism which means someone or something else had. I had never met an actual Satan figure, so as far as I knew they were all demons down there. And there was no way any demon there had the power to perform one without sending themselves back. The only other explanation was, and I truly hate how cliche this sounds, magic. Which meant one thing and one thing alone. God damn witches.

I tried to think of any other possible explanation but came up with none. Damn. I hate witches. But after a few weeks of being trapped in this old rickety house, nothing sounded better than a trip into town. Bobby had mentioned an apothecary in town that supplied him with some of the more advanced charms he has in his collection of monster hunting gear. I slowly crawled off my bed and hopped in the shower, invigorated by the idea of going somewhere and being back on some sort of "hunt."

"Hey Bobby, I'm gonna go into town for a bit to grab some things. Want me to bring you lunch?" I shouted into the kitchen where Bobby was sipping his coffee. My shoes were already on by the time I stood in the kitchen doorway.

"Oh actually I need some things to, maybe I can come with yo—"

"No!" I answer almost too quickly. I had hoped by offering to pick up lunch Bobby wouldn't question my leaving. "Sorry Bobby. I'm just super down about being stuck inside all day everyday and as much as I enjoy your company, I just think I need some alone time in the real world. To remind me that there is a real world." I had hoped I wasn't being too precocious, but Bobby was either too tired or too busy to notice my tone. I was going to tell Bobby where I was going, I was even considering bringing him with to make the whole situation with this witch less awkward. My distaste for them seems to permeate off of me. I just can't do the gross blood and fluids and animal guts stuff. Ultimately I decided it was best to go myself, mostly because I wanted to feel independent again. I really did want to remind myself there was a real world outside these walls, and that my part in it was hunting those that want to ruin it.

"Alright, well take my truck. I just got new tires on it so it should fair well in the rain."

I hadn't even noticed it was raining but when I ran out to Bobby's car, my shoulders and head were soaked.