Revenge and Guilt

Chapter 17

The twists and turns of life were not at all pleasant for Zarghoona. This wasn't what she was expecting, she knew her father was sick but she didn't expect him to leave so early. So much was left to do, so much was left to discuss. She had wanted to see him in her life, see her parents together and this somehow could have lessened the pain of her own life. It had been a blur after Bami told her about her father in the car, she couldn't remember much after it, her life had stopped and so had the functioning of her brain. A month had gone by, a month of pain and agony. These thirty days sadly hadn't taught her how to cope with her loss and how to make her mother feel better.

Palwasha had left last week after staying three consecutive weeks, it was time for her kids to return to school. Zarmina had wanted to stay but her husband had been against the idea, he told her that it had been too long that she had been staying with her mother so Zarmina had no other choice but to leave. Zarghoona felt that after Muzamil's incident Zarmina's husband had been trying to distance her from her family but again Zarghoona thought she might be wrong. Now she was the only one left with her mother. Asma and Javed would come in the morning with meals prepared for all day and then leave after dinner.

Nabila's condition was another story. She was shattered and she didn't know how to collect and gather her broken self. Now she was realising that she was nothing without her husband, a husband that she always neglected. The money in her life had made her so busy and blind to the same person who had worked really hard to earn it for her. She would cry remembering that every time when a hardship came Ahmed would deal with it alone and at the same time deal with her tantrums as well. Nabila was surprised to realise that she loved her husband so much that now living without him was soul shattering for her. She was realising that now her life was not the same, she had to think thoroughly and do things carefully, the one who always used to correct her blunders was no more. On the other hand she realised that Zarghoona's life was not normal and now that she was seeing reality of so many things she realised that somehow she is responsible for ruining her daughter's life. Nabila thought that now she would do everything to bring some normalcy to Zarghoona's married life. During this one month she had noticed that her elder two daughters had their husbands with them, their pain was somehow less then that of her own and Zarghoona's. She saw that there was zero communication between Bami and Zarghoona. This one month was not enough to completely recover from the loss but now she had to take responsibility for making things better for Zarghoona. Nabila made her mind that she would talk with her daughter and maybe Asma too.

Zarghoona on the other hand was thinking about how alone her mother was now. Zarghoona had given it a lot of thought and had come to the conclusion that she would be staying with her mother cause there was nobody else that needed her. She would be her mother's support and she would soon talk to Asma aunt about it. Bami's and her relationship couldn't even be called civil, so then what was the use of living like this. She was his unwanted wife and no matter how much Asma and Javed made her feel welcome and loved, she knew that they wouldn't have considered her as a wife for Bami after what happened to Muzamil. This marriage was only based on the request and wish of her dead father and when he was no more what was the use of burdening others with this unwanted union.

Bami felt a kind of burden on his chest. No matter how wrong she had been, she didn't deserved to see her parent die. More than this feeling was the feeling of guilt that he had not been there for her. He had been present physically, had taken care of all the chores and funeral but he had not been present emotionally for her. He had seen her breaking in the car and then totally opposite to it was her courage when her father was being taken away. She had shown such great resolve and had stood strong, tried to calm her mother down. Bami had noticed that Palwasha and Zarmina had been at there worst but their husbands both were supportive. He knew people might have noticed his and Zarghoona's relationship to be cold and he also knew that his parents would soon ask questions but what he didn't know was that Nabila had also noticed it regardless of her own trauma. Bami thought it would be good to talk to Zarghoona and it would lessen his guilt as well.