I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing

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Dear diary, I made it trough the day.

I must have said, I am fine thanks and I am fine thank you.  At least 37 times... And I didn't mean it once. I feel hopeless, depressed, angry. But most of all I am scared. I can't. I can't move on and I don't want to. If that's make me weak then fine, I am weak but...I can't handle him no being punished for what he as done! I can't handle feeling like this anymore. The worst feeling is the moment when you realize you have lost yourself. I can't live like this. I am feeling things that I don't wanna feel. I am becoming someone I don't wanna be... One minute I think I am fine the next minute I feel like I am dying.

«-are you okay I getting worried about you?

-I AM OKAY I AM JUST FINE I SWEAR THE NEXT PERSON WHO ASK ME THIS I AM GONNA START THROWING PUNCHES!

-how bad are you inside to say that?!

-how I feel inside me? I wish I couldn't feel anything I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing »

« -you are strong, beautiful you are good.

-no I am not...

-I think you find a way to get out of bed this morning even after all this and that makes you the strongest person I know. »

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