I Am So... So Sorry

Mabel Pines wiped tears from her eyes as she walked down the brightly lit corridor. The walls are white. Too white. Everything in this damn building is white. The only thing that brings color is the occasional stain of blood or feces or urine. Sometimes the stain was unidentifiable.

She had done this many times, it never got easier to see her younger brother so... broken. Tied up in a straight jacket, laughing and babbling incoherently to himself. It never got easier.

Sooner than she wanted, Mabel got to door B1-LL. Dipper's door. She peered through the pane of extra thick plastic. As per usual, Dipper was in the far corner, rocking back and forth while... crying? She couldn't remember that last time he did that. What has it been, 2? 4 years? The entire time he had never once cried.

The Doctor with Mabel unlocked the door, it squeaked and groaned as it opened. Dipper looked up slightly and watched her enter through tear stained eyes.

The door shut behind her, leaving Mabel with Dipper. Alone. She approached Dipper and sat down next to him. He laid his head on her lap, allowing her to stroke his hair.

Since he had lost all sanity, Mabel had been the only one able to get close. He only trusted her despite what she's done. Not Ford. Not Stan. Not even their parents. Only her. It was likely a remnant of better times as she should be the last person anyone could put their trust in.

"Dipper-" She began, but had to stop when her voice cracked. She was trying so hard not to burst into tears. "Dipper, about what happened... Back then in Gravity Falls with Gideon." His only response was his 'calm' breaths.

"I-It's okay if you don't want to talk. You didn't like to back before. I know I've said this a lot, but I forgive you for what I know happened. It was a lot to take in, and I... over reacted... a lot... I said somethings I regret and it tears me up inside knowing that I caused this." She couldn't hide it anymore, her voice began to crack and shake while tears brimmed her eyes before rolling down her cheeks.

"I shouldn't have ditched you when you needed me. You were always there for me, I wasn't for you. I should have told you sooner instead of hiding it. I should have supported you instead of shooting you down... I... should have... done... more for you..." She began to break down into tears. The tears fell on and around Dipper who licked them up. It didn't bother her to much. This was the new normal.

"I-I'm a T-terrib-rible sister... It should be me in your position... not you... I'm so... so very sorry... I really miss you... It just isn't the same back home... I need you too much and everything is just making it harder..." Dipper wiggled his tongue around out side of his mouth as he searched for more of the salty liquid. Making random noises all the while.

"I'm not sure if anyone else is going to forgive you... Paz definitely isn't... Robbie and Wendy say they hate you and would... K-kill you on sight... Soos refuses to talk... FiddleFord... left... we both know where Gideon is." She looked up and pulled Dipper into a hug. He struggled viciously, scratching Mabel with the clips on his Straight jacket. She released him a bit and he calmed down. "Stan and Ford? I've lost touch with... we had a huge argument... a product of my own stupidity no doubt. I'm so stupid, everything is my fault... I shouldn't have let you go into the woods alone, I should have said something... done something... anything... Instead, I gave up. I give up. I can't do this anymore. I think the world would benefit from my non-existence. I've been planning this for a while. I've thought everything through. It's fool proof. There's no way I can screw this up. It's just... one... simple... step... and I'm good. Golden even. He-he- hehe..." Dipper stared at Mabel with his usual Insane look of ignorant affection. He couldn't know what's going on, his brain can't handle it.

"N-no... I- I can't... What about you?... If I leave... and don't comeback, what'll happen to you? I'm sorry I even thought about leaving you. Idiot Mabel strikes again..." The door swung back open and a doctor with a tray of food came in. He handed the tray to Mabel. She instantly knew what he was implying she do. He left Mabel once again with Dipper.

Dipper wasn't amused at the sight of the food and seem sickened by it. It was the standard food, mashed potatoes, a bit of ham, some peas and milk. It was cold. Like everything else these days. Mabel scooped some of the mashed potatoes and put the peas and meat on it. She then offered it to Dipper who refused. "I'm sorry Dipper but you have to eat. Just a little bit, please? It doesn't have to be much as I'm sure it's disgusting. Just... eat what I give you and nothing more ok?" Dipper nodded. He actually nodded. He actually listened. Mabel felt ecstatic at his reaction. She was finally getting through his mind fog, even if it was extremely brief.

She put the spoon up to his mouth and he ate it's contents. Along with an attempt to eat the spoon. His face immediately scrunched up, yet he still chewed and swallowed... "Thank you." She repeated the spoon feeding until the tray was half way finished. She put the spoon on the tray and set it down, then fed Dipper the milk. She wiped the food from his mouth with her purple sweater afterwards. "Thank you... For eating." She pulled Dipper close. "I love you Bro-Bro."

The doctor returned. "Ms. Pines-" He began.

"I understand." Was Mabel's terse response. "Can I have a few more minutes with Dipper."

"We can spare two." He replied.

"Thank you..." She whispered while looking down at the boy on her lap. The doctor existed the room again. With the doctor gone, Mabel sung Dipper a lullaby, putting him to sleep. She softly laid him on the ground since, there was 'nothing' else in the room. She maneuvered to the door and left for the day. After she left however, a yellow triangle with one eye appeared, too faint to be seen, and laughed quietly, before disappearing.