21

Bowers

Connor and Richie had seen each other around campus over the last year or so. Connor had transferred to NYU for his junior year of college. Originally he had been going to a community college close to Derry. 

"So, do you still play street fighter?" Connor was trying to find the right words. He opted for small talk.

"No, I don't even think I've been inside an arcade since. . . " Richie trailed off remembering that day.

"Right, of course."

"Maybe I should though. Go to an arcade one of these days, I mean." Richie wasn't sure what Connor was doing here, but he wasn't about to ask.

"I think I owe you."

Richie shook his head in confusion.

"For what?"

"I owe you an explanation, and an apology for that day." Connor explained.

"That was a long time ago. It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. I threw you under the bus to save my own ass. I should've just walked away, not said anything. You didn't deserve that. I'm really sorry Richie."

"It's not a big deal. It's fine." Richie lied.

It had been a big deal. Richie spent the majority of middle school and high school hating himself for being attracted to other boys. He spent so much time kicking himself every time he wanted to glance at the guys in the locker room, or any time he blushed at the result of another boy showing him any kind of attention.

But that was a long time ago. He had to let it go, move on. Having Stan and Bill had helped. He didn't feel as alone as he once had. He didn't have to hide who he was with them. And they didn't have to hide when they were with him.

"It's not fine. I have thought about that day over and over again. Thought about how I would go back and change things if I could. But I can't change what happened then. I can apologize though, for what I did. I'm so sorry Richie."

"It's okay I get it. I was hitting on you, and it freaked you out. Your straight. I don't blame you for not flirting back, or aiming for a different outcome."

"I'm not."

"What?"

"I'm not straight Richie. I wanted to play another round of street fighter with you. And I wanted to ask you if you wanted to grab a bite to eat somewhere, but then Henry. . ."

"I never knew you felt this guilty about what happened. I never knew you, liked me."

"I can't tell you how sorry I am Richie. I can't imagine how that day in the arcade effected you. I just. . . You don't have to forgive me, in fact I hope you don't, cause I don't deserve it, but I just needed to tell you."

"I forgive you."

There was no use in holding a grudge. Richie felt a weight lift from his shoulders. He didn't have to carry that around anymore.

"Thank you Richie."

The two were sitting so close together on the couch. Richie had wondered if there would be an genuine chemistry between the two, but he dared not try anything out of fear that this was all a cruel prank. He had forgiven Connor, but that didn't get rid of his fear of showing interest in the boy.

"No problem Connor." Richie smiled, trying to hide his attraction.

Connor must have read Richie's mind, or maybe he was feeling the same thing, because without any fear at all, he leaned in and kissed Richie gently. 

His hand found it's way up to Richie's cheek, and he caressed it softly.

Richie hadn't kissed anyone in years, he wanted to enjoy it. But something didn't feel right. Something inside him told him he didn't want to be kissing Connor. He felt attracted to him, but he hadn't wanted it to go any further than that.

Richie pulled away gently.

"I'm sorry Connor. I think that kiss might be a little late. If we were 14, then things would be different."

Connor nodded, "I understand. I've been wanting to do that for some time now. Now I have, and now I can go." Connor smiled. He wasn't hurt or offended by Richie's rejection. He was just happy he got to do what he came here to do, which was get some closure.

They both had closure now. They could both move on.