21

Mistakes

"Can I see him?"

Bill had answered the door. It was evening now and Bill had come home from work just in time to help Richie into the shower, and then answer the door. Eddie Kaspbrak had shown up on this Saturday evening asking for Richie.

"I think it's p-probably best you leave. Richie never has to k-know you were here. Y-you can just leave."

"Please?"

Bill shook his head. He wanted to slam the door in his face, but he knew that he would just keep coming back.

"Ah fuck! Bill!?" It was Richie calling from the bathroom. Bill ran to the bathroom leaving the door wide open.

Eddie stepped inside the apartment peering into the hallway. He could hear the two talking.

"Oh my G-God Richie! It's a s-spider for f-fucks sake! I thought you f-fell ag-gain, d-don't s-scare me like th-that."

"I have a broken leg! I can't run away from it, and I can't kill it!" Richie practically yelled.

Eddie remained standing in the apartment waiting for Bill to come back. Richie came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, Bill was helping him hop to his room.

Eddie's face felt hot as his eyes trailed Richie's body.

"Richie?"

Richie turned to see Eddie standing there. Somehow he knew this was coming. He knew he hadn't seen the last of Eddie Kaspbrak.

"Just give me a second." Richie stepped into his room and closed the door behind him, shutting out Bill.

Richie started breathing heavily. He was going to have to pretend like he was fine. He was going to have to show Eddie that he was doing perfectly fine without him. How could he do that? He had just gotten hit by a car this past week and hadn't been to class since Monday. He hadn't even finished his painting to sell. He was broke, injured, and considering dropping out of college. How could he pretend to be alright in this moment?

Richie threw on a t-shirt and jeans, and tried to calm himself down. He was having a panic attack.

Why would Eddie do this to him? He had been doing just fine, he had moved on, he had even forgiven Connor and decided to be his friend. And now Eddie was here to ruin everything.

Richie started crying, he didn't even know why he was crying. He sobbed hard, desperately trying to catch hid breath. He couldn't breath, it felt like he was being choked. It felt like he was 18 again. This is the same feeling Richie had experienced when his father had wrapped his hands around Richie's throat when he had forgotten to take out the trash once.

Richie tried to scream. But nothing came out. The scream got caught in his throat as he cried.

Richie banged his fist on the wall to get the attention of Bill.

Both Eddie and Bill burst into the room. Richie was laying on the floor now with his knees clutched to his chest, still hardly breathing.

Bill rushed over to Richie's side and placed his hands on either side of his face. 

"J-just l-look a-a-at m-m-me. Y-you have t-to c-calm d-down R-Rich."

Richie focused on Bill, and took a breath in through his nose, and out through his mouth. Somehow he had forgotten how to calm himself down. Richie had never been like this before Eddie. Over the years he had gotten more emotional, more sensitive.

"He needs to lay down." Eddie's voice was confident in what needed to be done. 

Bill nodded agreeing. He helped Richie get onto his bed. He was still crying, he couldn't help it, he needed to let it all out. He had three years worth of emotions to go through in this moment.

"Y-you n-need to g-go now." Bill said sternly.

"I want him to stay." Richie's voice was small, and quiet. He sounded like a mouse.

Bill looked at him in shock.

"No, Bill's right. I should go now. I've already done enough."

"Please don't leave me again." Richie whispered.

Eddie stopped in his tracks. He owed Richie that much.

~~~

Bill had left the room in a huff, clearly not happy that Eddie was here, and that Richie had wanted to stay.

Richie was still laying down, and Eddie had taken a seat on the edge of Richie's bed.

"Why did you come here?" Richie asked, still sounding timid.

"I had to. I knew I was going to end up on your doorstep the moment I saw you."

"So your first thought after yelling at me for getting a taxi ride in the wrong area was, 'ah yes I should show up at his apartment unannounced.'"

"That wasn't the first time I saw you."

"Yes. It was."

"No. I saw you the night of the accident. I was one of the paramedics in the ambulance that took you to the hospital."

"So I guess I don't have to explain what happened then."

"No you don't. You were hit by a car, but luckily only got away with a broken leg. It should've been much worse. I've seen people walk away with much worse after small fender benders."

"So your not doing nursing anymore? Why be a paramedic?" Richie asked.

"It was only supposed to be temporary. I was going to try and go back to nursing at old folks homes, but working as a paramedic is a little bit more money."

"She wouldn't let you, would she?"

She.

He was talking about Myra.

"Myra quit her job, so I had to be the one to bring home the money. So I worked long hours."

"What does she think of you being here? Oh wait, let me guess, she doesn't know your here?'

"She doesn't know I'm here, because she moved out two months ago. We got divorced."

"Your lying."

"I'm not, I swear."

"I still don't get why your here."

"I told you that I had wanted to make things work with Myra, but really I just couldn't watch you make the same mistakes as me. I wanted you to do better than me. I figured we'd both move on, and you could experience your twenties, like I should have done. I should've been going to concerts and having fun, not getting married to Myra and only leaving the house to go to nursing school."

"You knew if you didn't leave Derry, neither would I." Richie admitted.

"Yeah. And I wanted you to leave Derry, I didn't want you to get stuck there like all the other adults who grew up there."

"It hurt though."

"It was for the best. Look at you now. Your in college, your out of Derry. The last time I saw you, you had burned yourself with scalding hot water. It looks like your doing a lot better now."

"I was. Until I got hit by a car, and my two best friends almost broke up."

"Okay, but aside from that, did I make the right choice? To hurt you?"

"Yeah I guess you did. But coming back, now after all these year? That was the wrong choice. For both of us."

"I understand that coming here was a mistake, but it was one I had to make."

"You once told me it was okay to make mistakes, as long as you learned from them. So what did you learn this time Eddie?"

"I learned that I missed you."

A/N: Okay I'm at work now so I have to go and do my job but hopefully I'll churn out another update during one of my breaks or something.