Don't Fall

Well, Do You?

When we got upstairs, as soon as the door closed he turned around and looked at me, "So, how was it?" I shrug, "It was alright in the moment but I don't want to do it again." He shrugs then gets a shitty look across his face, "I heard you call him daddy and I saw that big ass hickey forming on his neck." I look over at him, "It's my kink baby, you know that." He scoffs, "Yeah but the only dude you should be calling that sexually, is me and only me." I bend over and look up at him, "You gonna do something about it or stand by the door and pout?" His whole demeanor changes in an instant and he walks up to me, "You want me to punish you?" I bite my lip and nod as he stands in front of me and pushes my head down.

I wake up feeling really sore, hormones were flying around last night for sure. I don't know what came over me but I don't regret it. I woke up basically underneath Colson so I moved his arm then went straight to the bathroom. I checked my phone after I got out of the shower and I got an email with the fully mastered track I did with Demi a little bit ago so I set my phone down on the counter and listen to it as I moisturize. The way our voices blend in the chorus was almost too perfect but I was so ecstatic with how great it came out. I finish up and replay the song a few times before I text Demi about much I love it. I also text Kelsey and my hometown friend, Demi, to try to reach out again. I hope for an answer but I won't hold my breath. I've been trying to reach out to them for months and they never answer so I don't even think I can call them friends anymore. I grab a black maxi dress and put it on before I towel dry my hair and walk out of the bathroom. He's still sleeping so I head downstairs and start making something for breakfast, I look around in the fridge and decide to make an omelet. I'm almost done making it when Colson comes down the stairs, "Morning baby, what are you making? I'm starving." I chuckle, "You like omelets? I can make another one." He smiles and nods, "I do." I smile back at him then put the one I made on a plate and hand it to him with a fork then I start making another one.

We end up going to the mall together, we were bombarded by paparazzi for a few minutes until the mall security got them out but I still saw people sneaking pictures and I mentioned it to him so we both started flipping off the cameras and laughing. We go into the Gucci store per Colson because I literally would never even think of it but somehow we ended up walking out with a matching pair of sneakers. I felt weird about it but he was excited about it so I brushed it off. We keep walking around for a little while then I get bored so he suggests going to an outdoor mall, so we didn't feel as claustrophobic, plus he said that this one is more 'celebrity friendly' so most likely won't be as many annoyances there. 

Once we get there, he gets a phone call from his producer, he hands me his card and tells me to get whatever I want because apparently the phone call will take a while. I feel super awkward so I just roam around a random store but I keep tabs on him through the window, he looks happy about whatever he's talking about so I just go about looking through the racks of... I'm in a maternity store, fuck. I immediately go to leave when run into him at the entrance, he looks around the store and I see straight up panic go across his face, "Are you...?" He asks, I shake my head and laugh, "No, I went into a random store, I just realized what it was and was on my way out." He shakes it off then grabs my shoulders, "So I've been trying to get my management to get me on another tour and I finally booked a 6 month tour and I got them to approve you as an opener, they even got Demi to agree to do the L.A. tour date to kick it off and debut your song with her. Only issue is, you'll have to have an album out by the beginning of next year, you know so you have something to tour." My jaw drops, "Colson, I'm not even sure that I want to pursue singing professionally and you throw this on me? I don't even know what to say." His smile drops, "I thought you'd be excited, do you not want to do this?" I shake my head, "No no no, I am excited. I'm just not excited that I have to sing in front of bunch of people and write more music by myself." He smirks, "Well actually, I was thinking we could write together, like I could help you with the writing process and figure out what kind of sound you want to go for."  I shrug, "I don't know, what if I suck?" He chuckles, "Baby, if I thought you wouldn't make it, I wouldn't be backing you like I am. You can say no, if you want to. I won't be mad, I just thought I'd give you a chance if I have the power to do it." I look up at him and tears start welling up in my eyes, "Why are you doing this?" He looks at me weird, "What do you mean?" I look away for a moment, "I just don't get how someone can be this sweet to me, I don't feel like I deserve it." He grabbed my hand, "What do you mean? I love you, B." I look up at him, "I'm sorry, I'm really touched that you're giving me this opportunity, I just don't feel like I deserve it, is all. I literally went from a hostess to living with you and I feel like I'm kind of worthless now because I don't work and I basically live off of you." He looks confused for a second, "B, you're not worthless. You don't have to help like that, I want you with me. You don't have to do anything, I just want you with me, professionally or not. I don't understand what's happening here, are you leaving me?" I shake my head, "I'm not leaving you, I just need a minute. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have a lot going through my head right now." I walk away from him and end up wandering into a fancy looking hot topic, I walk in and see a few random kids walking around with their little girlfriends, you can tell they have to be like 15 at the oldest, I smirked when they walked by but then one of the girls whispered, "Thats the bitch that's fucking MGK." Then the whole group walks by me and they yell, "HOLLYWOOD WHORE!" As they run out of the store. I take a sharp breath out of embarrassment but I keep my head down and browse through random shelves of cute little figurines. I think about everything for a moment then a memory of my mom flashes in my head.

It was when I was 9 years old, she was in the laundry room folding the laundry directly from the dryer, I came in from school and heard her singing, 'Hopelessly Devoted' from Grease, she always sang that song randomly so I was really familiar with it, so as I got closer, I started singing along with her. She looked back at me and smiled as she kept singing, when we finished the song she would always say, "Brienne, you have a beautiful singing voice. You're gonna be the next Olivia Newton John if you play your cards right." I always thought that was lame but now I have a reason to do that dream of hers some sort of justice and I'm running away from it because I'm scared to fail. I thought it would begin and end with that feature on Demi's album but I have the chance to keep it going so why am I running? I don't understand why I'm doing this to myself. I decide to go find Colson and apologize for being a baby.

I walk around for a moment and see him chilling on a bench in the middle of the mall by himself just scrolling through his phone with a confused look on his face. I walk up behind him and start rubbing his shoulders, he looks up at me and smiles, "Hey baby." I lean down and say, "I'm sorry I made you feel like shit for giving me an opportunity of a lifetime. I'm down for it. All of it. When do I start?" He smirks and starts laughing, "It's alright, I know it's a lot. I just want you to be happy, that's all." I sit down next to him, "I am happy, just being with you but I feel like I'll be having fun on top of that if this all goes right." He gives me a pouty face, "Am I not fun?" I lean into him, "Well, you're fun in different ways." I playfully nudge him then we both get up and continue shopping for random stuff. Some how I end up with a bunch of new stuff, I think he felt bad for making me upset, even though he had nothing to feel bad for. I felt like an asshole but he didn't let me refuse any of them so now I have new clothes. 

When we get back to the house he goes straight to the bathroom upstairs. Pete comes in from the back yard and eyes my bags as he walks into the living room, "Shopping spree?" He asks. I shrug, "He didn't let me say no." He nods then sarcastically says, "Yeah, right." I give him a 'what the fuck' look, he walks to the end of the stairs and realizes Colson won't be down for a bit, he had Mexican food at the mall so... then he walks over to me and sits me down on the couch, "Look, you apparently got something Colson can't go without and you'll be sticking around for awhile so I need to know; Are you in love with him or what he can do for you?" I glare at him, "Are you seriously asking me that right now?" He nods, "I'm looking out for my friend, you need to answer the question." I glare at him again, "Okay but you need to answer one first; Are you trying to get me to leave because you think that somehow I'd end up with you?" He scoffs, "You wish." I scoff back, "No, motherfucker, you wish. You've already tried to get me to leave him once, what is stopping you this time? You already convinced him to let you fuck me and now you're trying to test my loyalty? Where the fuck is yours?" He stands up and glares down at me, "He didn't make you call me daddy, did he? How the fuck could you ask me where my loyalty lies? We don't even know you! You're just some white trash girl he had the hots for at a meet and greet that went too far." I stand up and challenge him, "You're just jealous that I didn't stay in the lobby with you instead of going back there to be with him because I can tell that goes through your mind every god damn time you look at me. You're just mad that I didn't choose you." He throws his hands up, "Look, I know I started this and I don't want it to be awkward if you stick around so just chill and answer my question; Do you love him or what he can do for you?" I scoff, "Nah, fuck that." He scoffs back, "I already did." My jaw drops and he glares at me with his nostrils flaring, "Answer the fucking question; Do you love him? It's not that hard." I glare at him and stay quiet. He gets closer to me and puts his face by mine, lips almost touching mine, "Well, do you?"