Me & Music (Inglês)

II- "The Big Secret"

I can’t believe that I’m going to say this, but…I have a huge secret, that no one else knows. Because I’m afraid that if I tell everyone, that would change everything about me now. But, other times, I think that my life couldn’t get worse. So, I’m going to say, because I want this to be true. So here it goes:

I love girls… Not like my best friend, but more like girlfriend, you know what I mean… Do you want to know when this started?

So, This feelings started on the 10 grade… High school, right? Always that karma, you think that it’s going to be the best years of your life… Well, for me… It wasn’t really like that…

The best part is… I really find myself… The worst part is to be myself… I don’t know if you know what I mean, but that’s how I feel. So I better start telling you guys my story, for you to understand what I’m trying to say…

So, like I’ve said before, it started on 10 grade… big change for me, I changed school, I changed class, and I changed myself… I’ve become more smart about my choices, being and open mind, and start to be myself instead of being something that I’m not… So I show my feelings, no matter what there are, because I believe that life is too short to waste with secrets…

On 1º term, I met some really cool people in my class, including a girl named Spencer… And I really got closer to her… And when I come to myself, we already text each other every day, every hour, every minute… So I fall madly in love with her… But this particular feeling I was afraid to show… I guess you know why. At the same time that we spoke, I still continue to fall even more for her, only thing I could think about was her. She was a singer and she played guitar, piano and drums…

With all my problems, she finally show me the cure to myself. MUSIC… So I asked her if she wanted to play with me, like a partner, it was something that I always wanted to do, but I never had the strength to go, or the perfect person to do that… And she give me the only strength I needed.

So, I spend my whole days and weekends with her, trying to do the most of everything, I thought that we were unstoppable. The only thing that I was against my ideas, was the fact that now, after spending so much time with her, I was really in love with her…Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without her, and without music…

I really can’t tell her my feelings; I thought that I was ruining everything between us… So hard to live with these feelings and can’t say a word about it, and there’s no one I can tell… So I have to deal with my big secret…

So, my big secret, I already told you, I feel weird, because for the first time I say it out loud, now even sounds more real, because when it was only in my head, this could be just a dream, a story that I made up in my head, but, somehow, when you say it to anyone, or write about it, this feelings become real.