Trollpasta the fighters

Part 7:Well EXCUUUSE me, prick...

Spider-prick woke up in a jungle. A very strange jungle. One that was covered in snow. Snowflakes slowly drifted around him.

He jumped up. "THAT'S DA WAY WE WASH OUR HANDS FALALALALAALAAAAA" he screamed for no particular reason.

"Oh, uummm. This isn't animecon..." he thought out loud. "Dammit, I've always wanted to do that... Ugh, whatever. Where am I- Oh right, Dell tech support hell..."

The hemroid vigilante wandered around for a little while. He saw two large pig-like monsters attacking a small defenseless fish-esque little girl.

Spiderprick knocked out one of the pig monsters with a flying kick to the back. This scared the boar creatures to the point of running away.

Spiderprick did a flip, then landed in a dramatic superhero pose.

"Yaaaay, superhero landing!" He heard a man's voice from behind him. "Y'know that's really bad on your knees..."

Spiderprick heard a "whooosh" noise. He turned around, and no one was there. "Must be a glich..." He said as he turned back around to face the red fish child.

"Yaaaay! T'anks for deawing wif' doe's mweanies..." The small aquatic toddler greeted. It was clear she had a lisp. Perhaps she lost a baby tooth recently...

"Woah there, little dudette! What were those assfucking fuckheads?!?!" Spiderprick questionably questioned.

"Tey were Groblins. Tey ever am did bewwy bad tings!!" She answered rhe question she has answered. "By da wae, mah name iz mida~
C'mer, I got someting for u~♡"

"Lul wut" Spiderprick replied after chuckling lightly.

Mima pulled out a sword. It was an elegant sword with a long, majestic blade that looked like it could cut through the entirety of the universe itswlf. The handle and cross guard were blue, molded in an almost bird-like mold. It had yellow lines which moved across it, almost as some sort of a design technique to call attention to certain aspects of the thing you are designing and to break up the color scheme to keep it from looking dull, of some sort.

"No, little dudette. I'm not gonna use that. Killing is wrong, and that's the only use for a sword. Especially one of that magnitude..." Spiderprixk protested.

"Oh, ok! Den i just gon' giv u dis instwead~" Mida said, giving Soiderprick a baseball bat.

Swiderorick swung the bat around in a gracful motion, like as if it wus a swurd. "It's perfect, little dudette!" He proclaimed. "Well, I guess it's time we went on our merry ways, little dudette!"

"Ok!~" Mida chirped in agreement.

And so they went on their merry ways...

Then I went and a wrnt into the whole forrest. Suddenly, that sexy- uh, I mean merciless unforgivable bastard came onto the screenshot screen.

"Hey there, guys and gals, it's me Mutahar. Oh haiii Spiderprick. I see you're becoming accustomed to dell tech support hell. You won't survive. You're going to break my rule!!" He said excitedly excited. "MAH ONE FUCKIN RUUULLEE!!OOOHHH MAH VARIOUS CUPS OF CUM, HOW WOLL U DIEE!?!"

"What have you done to this realm, you psychotic fat bastard!?!" I demanded to be known.

"Oh y'know, I just unleashed hoards of undead monstrosities! Nothing to have an aneurism about. Also, I do believe I'm gonna have to teach you some fucking manners. No one fucking curses but ME." And with that, Muta snapped his pudgy brown fingers. A gestalt of skeleton soldiers appeared into existence. All wearing armer/uniferms of difrent eras. They surrounded Spiderprick and glared at him with menacing big dick energy. They swaddley swoodled their swords/spears/axes/dildos/shooty-shooty bang-bang sticks with menacingly menacible menace.