~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
fanitic4fanfiction: It was the night before Christmas
and everyone was sleeping
except, of course, the daughter,
who was reading gay fan fiction
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
unclefather: husband: why are there broken condoms on our couch?
wife: would you please call our children by their real names
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
thatoneloviticgirl: As your girlfriend, I will make it my duty to turn you on at the most inappropriate of times.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
mylifeasqueenb: girls all go to the bathroom together because thats where we rap battle
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bombing: finally got my car windows tinted so nobody will know it was me who crashed into the movie theater while jacking off to Beethoven's moonlight sonata
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
f4me: If a single teacher cant teach all the subjects
then how do they expect a single student to learn all the subjects fuck
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
raptorific: If I were Harry Potter I would have addressed Voldemort as “Tim Riddle.” He’d be like “IT’S TOM RIDDLE. ALSO, IT’S NOT TOM RIDDLE, IT’S VOLDEMORT.” Ahahaha classic Tim.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
pizzaforpresident: I went to a party once and everyone was supposed to pitch in some money to buy adderall. I had never tried or even heard of it but I was young and stupid so I gave them 20 bucks. Later on, after we all took it, everybody was going crazy and having a good time and I was just sitting on the couch quietly so I googled ‘adderall’ on my phone and learned that it’s used to treat ADHD.
I have ADHD.
I paid 20 dollars to calm down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
p1ants: i’m not very good at small talk, i want 2 talk about dying and aliens and sex and meaning and the sky i am terrible at asking about school and weather
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
gothabiti: protect all of the young girls who’s bodies developed quickly and who appear to be older than they are. remember that these girls are still children and their mature physical appearance is not a reflection of their emotional maturity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5 scientific reasons why being unattractive is beneficial.
churchsext: finally
rawrimadinosawr3212: fuckin finally
churchsext: looks like I just wasnt vulgar enough for rawrimadinosawr3212
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
michaxl: dont Smoke the weed you will the Die
apsghetti: are you high
michaxl: THE DIE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
luckydaydreaming: Dont post your negativity on a positive post.
mancomics: Electrons
luckydaydreaming: I should kick your ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
heronqueenblues: why are people surprised when they see depictions of Hitler that show him doing nice things with his friends or people he cares about
did they think he just sat in darkened rooms rubbing his hands together muttering "jews" disdainfully under his breath all day
thesuperjew: yes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
dorothy-cotten: If you're ever in Britain, when you walk the dog its called"Dogging"
So if you're ever going to walk your dog be sure to ask all of your British friends if they'd like to go dogging with you!
Make sure to invite everyone out dogging when you come here!
allthewaytoeverland: *squints suspiciously*
shirefulscarves: Dogging is a British English slang term for engaging in sexual acts in a public or semi-public place or watching others doing so.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love you guys lots like tater tots :3
YOU ARE READING
Tumblr, Okay?
HumorI'll give you a hint as to what this book is about. (Its Tumblr.)
