Let me be me.

~{1}~

READ THIS NOTE BEFORE CONTINUING WITH THE STORY

A/N: This is a Gravity Falls AU where Dipper is a transgender female(MTF). I have seen many stories where Dipper was a transgender male(FTM) and they are great stories, however, I have only found very few stories on Dipper being a transgender female. So here is one.

This story has many issues, as far as family issues, mental health issues, and dysphoria. If you have any triggers from this story, I deeply apologize. I myself have had some triggers writing this story, however that for me is fine because it helps to know that I may be helping others with this story. That I may be letting others know how hard it is to be a trans person, so that they may be able to help people who are suffering with these problems. I myself am nonbinary, so I understand what it is like.

I will not tolerate ANY hatred towards any of the issues in this story, or towards any gender identifications. If there is any hate towards that it will be sentenced with an immediate blockage, and your account will be reported.

This is something that is hard enough, we do not need your hate to make it harder. If anyone does need any help, or just needs someone to talk to, I am always able to respond from messages in my private messages. Or if you need some help from a professional and are worried about a friend or even yourself please call any type of suicide/mental health hotline.

I really hope that that helps, and please remember that my messages are always open.

Enjoy the story.

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

'Why the hell am I like this? Why can't I be normal? Why couldn't I have been born right? Why can't I just be a normal boy?' No. Please don't. I can't be that. I'm not that. I never will be. 'Well then why do I have to be trapped in a boy's body? I mean, if I'm a girl anyway, why couldn't I have been born in the right body?' I look at myself in the mirror, seeing the tears running down my face, seeming black thanks to my eyeliner. Looking at the hair I've been growing out, it's just below my shoulders, and it still has indents from how I styled it earlier in the morning, seeing the remains of lightly placed makeup, my eyes drop down to the maroon blouse paired with a pair of white low cut shorts. And as soon as I take in how I look, I stared crying more. I look like a freak. A freak who's trying way to hard to look feminine. Trying way to hard to be a girl. That thought alone made me want to cry even harder.

I don't even know why I'm so upset. I spent the day with my best friends, who make me happy and make sure I'm happy with who I am. And since Mabel is on her way to Gravity Falls right now or is in Gravity Falls already, and mom and dad are at work; they're very rarely home anyway; I'm not understanding why I am so upset. It's not like anyone in my family will see me like this. It's not like I have to come out to them yet. I don't have to see the looks of disgust and disappointment in their eyes. That thought alone caused more tears. Maybe that's why I'm upset? I mean, I know I'm scared to tell anyone other than my friends. So why is that upsetting me, I'm not ready to tell anyone else. So why am I upset? Why can't I stop crying? Why the hell is my mind attacking me like this?

I can't do this right now. I honestly can't. I might just cry harder then. But that's fine. Right? I mean, I'm okay. I'm not bleeding, or bruised anywhere, meaning I'm okay. I just need to breathe. Just need to take a breath. I'm going to be fine. I don't need to tell anybody anything yet, and I don't have to until I'm completely comfortable with said idea. It's my decision. Just breathe.

Those thoughts seemed to calm me down, as the tears come to a stop. Now, I need to wipe off my ruined makeup, wash my face so it doesn't look like I was crying, brush my hair and put it up in a low ponytail, and change into a pair of pajama pants and an old tee-shirt. Good thing those breathing  techniques that Beatrice had me practice seem to be working. *DING* I swear, if that's her. I swear to god she can read minds. She knows just when I need her. I glance at my phone, and see that she texted in the group chat. We named it something weird as a joke, and before I wasn't a fan, but now I love the name. It makes me smile every time.