Love Bite

Chapter 30

I DO NOT OWN CHARACTER OR TWILIGHT

Bella and Leah walked into the living room to see everyone gathered together.

Esme and Alice were embracing. Alice was murmuring something in her ear and rubbing her back gently. A pang of guilt went through Bella, and she hoped desperately that Esme did not resent her for this. She loved Esme almost as much as her own mother and she felt so awful for tearing her children apart.

Poor Esme. She loved all her adopted children as if they had been born of her own blood. To see them fight like that killed Esme every time. To hear Alice declare her willingness to kill Jasper must have broken her heart. Bella couldn't help but blame herself for that.

Because it really was her fault, wasn't it, that Jasper and Alice were fighting? And it was her fault that all the Cullens were in danger now. If she had never come around, none of this would have ever happened...

The guilt of that ate at her insides.

Gazing around at all of them now, at Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Edward, and even Tanya, she could not help but wish she had never met them, if only because she couldn't stand the thought of them getting hurt, or God forbid, dying for her actions.

Standing off to the side were Emmett and Jasper. She and Jasper met eyes and then looked away, both uncomfortable and awkward. Now the tension the two of them caused was purely awkward instead of dangerous. She wasn't sure if she'd ever stop feeling guilty towards Jasper. She still loved him in a way, like family. Like a brother she'd had a falling out with and might never reconcile with. She had no idea where they would go from here.

It was painful to think about.

It hurt all the more when Emmett gave her a small, reassuring grin, when Edward's concerned eyes searched hers out. Even Rosalie's eye roll was endearing.

And there was always Leah, a friend Bella held so dear to her heart, a sister more than anything, who had sacrificed all to protect her. Her entire life with her family was shattered when she chose to stand by her morals and by Bella. Leah could never get that back. She'd been excommunicated from her pack. She didn't even have a home anymore and Bella knew if she had never come around, Leah never would have had to go through all this.

Yet the werewolf still nudged her shoulder and gave her that confident smirk before wandering over to perch on the end of the couch, ignoring the way multiple noses wrinkled when she passed by.

Bella hated herself at that moment. She wished, though she loved them all so dearly, that she'd never sat next to Edward that one day in Biology and thus began her life with the Cullens and Leah. Though it killed her, all she wanted was for these wonderful people to be safe and out of harm's way.

And yet...

When Alice pulled away from her mother, smiling comfortingly as Esme sniffed one last time, and turned to face her, Bella realized that even if she could, she wouldn't change a thing.

It was selfish, truly, genuinely selfish. But looking at Alice then, Bella knew she could never knowingly, willingly give her up. It was a bittersweet pill to swallow. She hated herself for that weakness, too, but there was nothing to be done for it.

She just loved Alice too much.

"Bella, honey," Esme said with a gasp, noticing her. "Are you okay?"

Bella blinked in surprise when Esme walked over and cupped both of her cheeks in her hands, warm honey brown eyes searching it worriedly.

"You're not hurt are you?" Esme murmured. "I was so worried..."