I wonder what will become of me
For I can not handle this world
I thought I could create
But I end up destroyed instead
Don't show.
A handful of pills and a couple of therapy sessions and I thought I would be okay
I wish I could be okay
I also wish I could find myself
I'm lost
Lost in thought
Trapped in thought
My thoughts drag me deep into despair
Or they drown me in blood and death Depends on the day
People get so befuddled when I "open up my feelings" so easily
They don't know
It they saw the real "me"
Just a dream.
So many things would happen
I would kill
I would die
Ruin lives as well as my own
I wonder if I'll actually break
I wonder
Fallen Dreamer.
Wondering is not a good thing for me
Wondering always leads to something heartbreaking or mind crushing for myself
People get so surprised when I act sad
They are always so used to my fake smile they don't know how to react
And end up making things worse
I'm broken you know
A stereotype
Where am I?
Another sob story of a depressed teenager with a bad back story
That is what I usually show
Lost track of myself again.
It shreds me to pieces when everyone miss reads my story and they get so confused when I say they're wrong
I wonder.
It's like static in my mind
High pitched
Numbing and frustrating
I wonder if they'll see you?
I need to sound it out
Or it'll consume me
Everyone will get mad at me if I let that happen
That is my worst fear
Screams.
Everyone secretly hates me
That they all lie to me
If everyone hates me
I don't know what to think
They don't matter right?
No one else matters
But what if they try to hurt me
I can't get hurt
Screams.I won't let them hurt me
Not again
I won't let them hurt me
I am not going to get hurt againAgain.
Again.
Not Again.
Never again.
Never.
No.I keep falling
Into dark
Such a stereotype.
I don't know where it leads
I bet you do.
I'm scared of it sometimes
LIAR.
I couldn't live with myself it anyone else fell into it
LIAR.
I'm the only one who is allowed to be sad
SHUT UP!
LIAR.
LIAR.
SCREAM!
SCREAM!stop
YOU ARE READING
My Tortured Cries
PoetryHow I think. How I felt. How I've almost dies so many times. All because of my mind. WARNING: this story contains sensitive content. If you are sensitive to self harm or suicide please do not read these poems.