My Tortured Cries

Dreary Days Turning To Red

I wonder what will become of me

For I can not handle this world

I thought I could create

But I end up destroyed instead

Don't show.

A handful of pills and a couple of therapy sessions and I thought I would be okay

I wish I could be okay

I also wish I could find myself

I'm lost

Lost in thought

Trapped in thought

My thoughts drag me deep into despair

Or they drown me in blood and death Depends on the day

People get so befuddled when I "open up my feelings" so easily

They don't know

It they saw the real "me"

Just a dream.

So many things would happen

I would kill

I would die

Ruin lives as well as my own

I wonder if I'll actually break

I wonder

Fallen Dreamer.

Wondering is not a good thing for me

Wondering always leads to something heartbreaking or mind crushing for myself

People get so surprised when I act sad

They are always so used to my fake smile they don't know how to react

And end up making things worse

I'm broken you know

A stereotype

Where am I?

Another sob story of a depressed teenager with a bad back story

That is what I usually show

Lost track of myself again.

It shreds me to pieces when everyone miss reads my story and they get so confused when I say they're wrong

I wonder.

It's like static in my mind

High pitched

Numbing and frustrating

I wonder if they'll see you?

I need to sound it out

Or it'll consume me

Everyone will get mad at me if I let that happen

That is my worst fear

Screams.

Everyone secretly hates me

That they all lie to me

If everyone hates me

I don't know what to think

They don't matter right?

No one else matters

But what if they try to hurt me

I can't get hurt
Screams.

I won't let them hurt me

Not again
I won't let them hurt me
I am not going to get hurt again

Again.

Again.
Not Again.
Never again.
Never.
No.

I keep falling

Into dark

Such a stereotype.

I don't know where it leads

I bet you do.

I'm scared of it sometimes

LIAR.

I couldn't live with myself it anyone else fell into it

LIAR.

I'm the only one who is allowed to be sad

SHUT UP!
LIAR.
LIAR.
SCREAM!
SCREAM!

stop