Love and Fate - Evelyn's Story

Chapter 4

There's only one person who knows the name Dagna, and that's Jason. My stomach flip flops.

"What are you doing here?" He asks. He's wearing a postal service uniform and balancing heavy looking packages. His mail bag hangs at his side and he's wearing a blue ball cap; he looks even more handsome than I remember. His lips form a tight thin line and his eyes stay cool and hard. It throws me off, but I know he has every right to feel upset.

"Chrissy, a friend of mine, is being admitted here today. I came to support her." Nervous sweat pops out on my upper lip and I swipe it away quickly. Jason was the last person I expected to see here and I pull nervously at my clothes that suddenly feel too tight.

"That's nice." Jason says, setting the packages down and smiling at the receptionist. I feel a pang of jealousy toward her. "Chrissy, isn't she the one from Camila Tequila?" He hands the receptionist a form to sign.

"Yes." I say. Even though Jason is avoiding eye contact with me, I'm just happy that he's talking to me at all, and that we have this mutual connection, however small.

"Well, tell her I wish her luck. See ya around, Dagna." Jason waves to the receptionist who is on the phone now, and I watch him leave. I catch a glimpse of his profile as he goes, and I swear I can see the beginning of a smile where his cheeks pull up and crinkle the corners of his eyes. True, it could have been for the front desk girl. But maybe, it was meant for me.

I sit for a minute, processing Jason's words, and a smile slowly tugs on my own lips. The whole exchange may have been brief, but it was enough to get my hopes up, that maybe I would see him around, and that maybe he would be ok with that.

The door to the intake room opens, and Tom comes out alone. He approaches me with that comforting expression of his. Not quite a smile, but a confidence, and a strength that you can't help but trust.

"You can go home now, Evie. We're going to get Chrissy set up in her room where she'll detox under a doctor's supervision. You can come back to visit her in a week or so."

"Can I call or text her before that?" I ask, knowing Chrissy's mom will want to know too.

"There's no steadfast rule, but we discourage it. At least at this stage of the process. Give her a week to settle in first." Tom pats my shoulder. "We'll take good care of your friend, I promise."

For some reason, I'm close to tears as I leave Chrissy behind and drive home alone. I'm sad for her, for her situation and how lost and scared she must feel in that room by herself, with no alcohol to buffer the fear of what's to come.

Instead of driving straight home, I turn into the parking lot of my favourite grocery store. I need something to buffer my own emotions. The only difference between Chrissy and I, is that I use food instead of alcohol, and I know exactly what I need. I push my cart past the fruit and vegetable section and head straight for the pastry aisle. I grab two pies, one sugar, and one cherry, then I head to the frozen aisle for some ice cream and frozen pizzas. I take a meat-lovers and a vegetarian. I will need some chips for later, so I snatch a few bags of nacho Doritos and regular Ruffles with onion dip, of course! I pick up a case of Coke and push it onto the tray underneath the cart. I do all this very quickly, and I keep my head down, avoiding the stares from the healthy people buying gluten and sugar free food.

I pack my haul into the car and drive home to my cozy one-bedroom apartment. The male in my life rushes to greet me at the door with chattery meows and head butts to my legs.

"Hi Wilbur, how's my sweet pea. Did you miss mommy?" I pick him up and give him kisses. "Tonight, we're going to make pizza and watch Netflix together. How does that sound, Willie?"

Wilbur meows and bunts my forehead.

That night, I dream of Jason. He's dressed in his postal uniform and he's taken me with him on his mailing route. We're walking, seemingly forever, with no real destination, and he's mumbling nonsensical words in German. I can't make out what he's saying and I'm trying to catch up with him to ask him what he means. He finally stops and faces me, only it isn't Jason anymore, it's Tom from Sober Living. "Sei geduldig, Evie" he says. Be patient, Evie!

Even though it's just a dream, I feel encouraged by it, and I plan on following Tom's advice. I will be patient, and I will try not to count down the minutes until I can visit Chrissy at Sober Living, and hopefully get to see Jason again in the process.

Wilbur purrs at my feet as I eat my breakfast. Usually I have two eggs with cheese and bacon, a toast with peanut butter and jam, and a big glass of orange juice. But today, I'm having a grapefruit and black coffee only. Maybe if I lost a few pounds, Jason would like me better.

I grab my keys off the side table by the door and I'm about to leave for work, when my phone beeps with a text from Amber.

Bruce texted me this morning! He wants to see me this afternoon to explain himself. What should I do? He seems really upset by the whole thing. He told me he can't live without me! Help!!!

I sigh heavily and call Amber back. "Look," I start impatiently.

I'm getting tired of always being the one to fix my friends problems.

"Bruce is a cheater, a married cheater. He can't even stay faithful to you, his mistress!" I pull out of my driveway and head to work with Amber on speaker.

"But he sounds so unhappy, Evie. And I kind of want to hear what he has to say."

"All you'll hear from him, are more lies. He'll tell you some sob story to get you feeling sorry for him, and that's how he'll hook you back in. But nothing will have changed on his part. He'll still be married and he'll still be screwing around on you with other women."

I maneuver my car into the staff lot and park. I pick up my phone. "My advice is to not call or text him back. At all. I have to go to work now, but I'll call you later and we can talk about it more. Promise me you won't text him back." I say.

Amber hesitates for only a second. "I promise, but it won't be easy, especially since he just texted me again."