Comrades of The North: The War Horn

Straight Outta Slapstick

A few days had passed and the base was just as lively as when we were fighting the sirens for real.

"I've barely been getting any documents." I chuckle to myself. "We've just been going straight for war stuff."

"Well, that's what the spirit of battle can do for you." Gangut chuckles. "I don't think the sirens can wait any longer so let's just go ahead and get out there and start fighting."

"I wonder what they'll throw at us today." I say as we all head out to the docks and start patrolling. As expected it's fairly quiet and we can only expect the worst to get thrown at us as Avrora and Chapayev sail along either side of my flagship, Tashkent covers the front and Rossi and Gangut cover the back to provide heavy covering fire.

"Whatever the sirens throw at us I'm pretty sure we can crush it." Gangut says as we continue patrolling, and eventually a small group of siren ships emerges. The group is mostly made up of various bishop and knight cruisers, but the crown piece of the whole group is none other than the new king model Purifier was talking about. It looks exactly like the king piece from the siren chessboard but magnified to match any other carrier in size and the guns on the thing were monstrous. "Whoa..."

"Purifier did say we were going to test it out. Avrora, Chapayev, Tashkent, engage the king!" I call out as the three ships do so. The guns on the king deftly swivel around, focusing fire on the cruisers, but they swivel too slow and Chapayev and company easily dodge the shots. That's when the king releases a swarm of siren interceptors and they start heading for me and the battleships!

"Uh oh! Quick!" Rossi shouts as she and Gangut let loose with their AA guns while my flagship continues firing away at the king from afar. The new siren ship is holding fairly well against the salvo but it's not long before the combined efforts of the whole soviet navy manage to take down the colossal ship, and a group of more familiar looking sirens emerge. These ones we were used to fighting, even with their new electric purple color scheme, but once again there was an odd one out among them. As opposed to the purple, this siren was an electric blue, and instead of normal siren cannons she appeared to have a pair of tesla guns in their place.

"What's that thing do?" Avrora asks Chapayev, but the two quickly get their answer when the siren unleashes lightning and zaps the two light cruisers silly. They jolt around frantically like one of those slapstick cartoons before they recollect themselves, and when they try to move, they can't. "What the?!"

"I can't move!" Chapayev calls out as she and Avrora look down at their feet to see that a small electric field has appeared just under their feet, and any attempts to move out of it are futile as the field acts like some sort of glue, forcefully dragging their feet back with every pull. "It's like I'm stuck!"

"Well that's certainly something..." I mumble. "Gangut, Rossi, focus fire on that new tesla siren."

"Right." Gangut says as she and Rossi open fire. Even with the new siren still around the electric field eventually dissipates allowing Avrora and Chapayev to move again, but the tesla siren proceeds to zap Tashkent, who also finds herself stuck in an electric field once she recollects herself. The destroyer tries everything she can to escape the field, even trying to jump, but no matter what she does her feet keep getting dragged back, and only when the field dissipates can she move again. "Wow that siren is pretty annoying."

"Which is why we're taking that out first." I reply as one of Rossi's shots manages to hit and knocks the tesla siren out cold, allowing the others to deal with the less annoying sirens. It's not long before the battle is over and everyone retreats back to their respective bases. We crash on the common room couches like we usually do after battle, and Tashkent breathes a sigh of relief as she does so.

"I thought I was gonna be stuck there for good!" Tashkent chuckles.

"We thought the same!" Avrora chuckles back. "Those sirens are pretty good with their weapons!"

"I guess it was kinda amusing to watch too, it looked like one of those slapstick cartoons where you could see their skeleton as they were getting zapped." I say, and Avrora playfully punches me in the shoulder.

"It wasn't THAT funny." Avrora giggles as she looks at the new gramophone that was recently put in the common room. It wasn't every day that the North Union had music to entertain themselves with, and the gramophone was actually from a mystery donor. Right now it was playing some music that sounded like it came from a bar, and it just felt so homey to a lot of us. Interrupting our thoughts was a portal that opened up to reveal Alpha, still sitting on top of her tentacled rigging.

"I take it you like our new models?" Alpha asks.

"They are certainly interesting and much tougher than we anticipated." I reply. "That tesla siren though, how'd you get that to work?"

"Through lots of trial and error." Alpha says sheepishly. "Some of our sirens were so stuck we had to find a way to manually disperse the electric field, and that electricity can go everywhere which is why the others keep out of the way when it's fired."

"Makes sense. It zapped the both of us in one go." Avrora says.

"And god forbid if we were to use it on a human like you, I'm not sure if you'd even live to tell the tale." Alpha adds.

"Let's not have that plague our minds." I chuckle before everyone starts laughing. Eventually everyone quiets down to listen to the music coming from the gramophone, and Alpha seems especially enticed by the music.

"When did you get this?" Alpha asks.

"Not too long ago actually." I reply as the music washes over us.