Anti Heiress

Chapter 4

Dawn has nearly broken by the time Malissa and I arrive at the castle. The sandy brown bricks blend in with the dying grass.  As miserable as it looks, at leas this time it's a refuge rather than a prison.  My legs feel like stew, and for a moment I think I'll fall off my horse just before we inch through the gate.

"The gate is open," Malissa calls from behind me, her voice hoarse. "Do you think someone's here?"

It doesn't seem like it. The grass, brown as it is, has grown pretty tall. The windows are intact, so hopefully the place wasn't robbed. As if there would be anything to steal. "The place was emptied last time I left. Arman receives regular update on all my father's properties." How, I'm not sure. I must not think of him now, or I'll want to turn around. Only, I can't. 

Malissa doesn't respond. I only hear the hooves of her house riding behind me. Just as we pass under the front arch of the castle I dismount. I can't even bear to make it to the stables. My legs shake violently and I walk slowly, holding one of the reins in my hand. There will be no one to greet me. No one to run me a bath, and have my breakfast prepared. Malissa climbs down as well and we unhitch the carriage together. From all of our picnics together, it's one of the few useful things I know how to do. Malissa reaches into the carriages and pulls out my jewlery box from the trunks and cases on the floor. 

I tie the horses to two of the hooks near the door. They should be fine here for a couple hours. I don't think I can walk them to the stables just yet. 

"I would shut the gate but walking back might make me collapse," I admit. 

Malissa nods. "The same might happen to me." With her free hand, she moves the latch on the door and pushes it open. The door groans as it opens slowly. A gust of warm air blows back Malissa's dress. "How about we move the trunks after we rest?" she suggests. "We have your jewels, at least."

I let out a sigh of releief, thinking she would have been paranoid about leaving them. "That sounds excellent." I follow Malissa inside, pushing the door shut with my body. We walk the short hallway through the kitchen, Pots, and pans, none of which Ik now how to use, line the walls, and dishes sit on the shelves. A large pot hangs in the middle of the empty fireplace. 

The stairs are almost too much of a challenge to bear. Each time I lift one of my legs, I feel as if I wouldn't care if I tumbled down to the bottom. Malissa holds her skirt in one of her hands, and my jewelry box tucked under her other arm, so I suppose I must be prepared to catch her in case she slips. I wish, at least, the stairs were lined with carpet like they were in the palace. It would be much easier on my knees. The sun shines through the small windows, making the staircase even warmer than the rest of the castle. I hope dearly the curtains in the bedrooms have been drawn this entire time. 

Finally, we reach the top of the staricase. I nearly want to scream in excitement when Malissa nudges open the door to the room I usually use. It's dark inside, thank, the gods. The sunlight can barely be seen peeks around the edges of the curtains, giving the room a dim glow. The beedroom is much cooler then the hallway, even. 

I take off my sword and collapse on the bed. Dust rises from the blankets but I'm just grateful for a bed. I watch with one eye open as Malissa sets my jewelry box on the chest, leaning on it for a moment to take a break. "You don't have to empty it now," I say. 

"If I lie down, I won't be able to get up," Malissa insists. "At least the things you'll use."

Malissa unlatches the jewelry box, and places one of my combs on the wardrobe. Next, she gently lifts a picture from the box. I recognize its painted gold frame. 

"You brought it?"

Blood rushes to Malissa's face. "You told me to bring your valuables." She crosses the room to offer the portrait to me. I take it with my arm that was leaning off the bead. The portrait of my mother is no bigger than a brief letter. I received it as a gift for my tenth birthday. For hours, I used to sit in the grand hall, staring at the official portrait of my mother that was larger than myself. I thought that if I stared hard enough I'd be able to unlock some memory of her in my mind, though I knew I had none.

"I can't have a portrait of the queen in my possession," I say firmly, though I can't look away from it. I see so little of my mother in myself that I almost feel guilty, as if I betrayed her somehow.

"I won't tell if you won't," Malissa assures me. I have a passing thought that I'm the queen now. No. I've given it up. I have the opportunity to become whoever I want. Malissa props the portrait up on the wardrobe. "Later, I'll go into town at and visit the market."

 "I'll come with you," I offer. "But I certainly need a nap first."

Malissa shakes her head. "You don't have to come. I agree you need your rest. You've had a trying day."

 "As have you. What if you get lost and collapse of fatigue and no one's there to save you? Come, join me."

Malissa finally sits on the bed, looking down at me from over her shoulder. The rays of sun slipping through the curtains forms a golden halo around her head. "My father wasn't killed hours ago."

"Not an hour too soon."

Deciding she won't win our argument, Malissa kicks off her shoes. She reclines over me, our bodies forming a cross. I can no longer see her. "I dearly hope the lake isn't dry," Malissa announces. "Or else we came for nothing."

"It can't be. People sitll live here, there must be water, or at least a way to buy it. I'd die for a bath. I smell like horse ass."

Malissa caresses my arm. "You've smelled worse. Have you given thought to your new identity?" The constant motion of her finger might put me to sleep.

I'm silent for a moment, debating whether to tell Malissa the name I first came up with, or lie and say something more sensible. "I think I'd like to call myself Aros."

Malissa fingers stop moving. "Aros? After the pirate in that story?" I nod. Malissa scoffs. "I should have known. Pirates are thieves."

 "Pirates are adventurers," I counter. "Do you think it's stupid?"

Malissa's fingers resume idly tracing my arm. "No, I don't. You could have chosen stranger. Now, sleep." Today will be my first day living as a normal person. Well, not entirely as a peasant, but definitely not as a princess. My first day of actual freedom. I suppose I should start it off properly, with some rest.