Rise And Fade

About my childhood

I was born in Littlefield. Thats on the west part of Illinoise. I was calm and  did not prefer to communicate with someone for a long time. My father was strict but honest man. If he had  promissed something to do, he did it everytime without any form of remembering. But thats the thing.. he did not like noise in any form. Crying, laughing, watching TV and music in medium tone were also noise for him as well. I cant remember any  moment when i had show my happiness as honestly loud as ive ever felt. But i lived with my mum too. Shes very beaty for her age. Shes kind, but weak. From the 3d birthday i was told not to show your feeling in expressive way in the case if my dad would in bad mood and would never approved that. I agreed. Id never want to upset my father or bring my dear my mum down. That was the finest form of extinction in my family.  But then.. Something happened to me. I knew it was definitely wrong because neither my father neither my mother had never told me about before. But that strange cotton of feeling in my mind. And do you know what? I had let on of these freekiest thoughts in my head. And felt different..