•Chapter 38•

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I decided on checking the room where they had their little band practices in. I didn't really know where else Oliver would be. As I maneuvered my way down many hallways, I continued to think too hard about my situation. Logan had to get married, hence he'd either marry me or some random person. I was going to college, so he'd have to marry someone else. But college was my choice and I could be married by next week.

Just as I was giving myself a headache, I found Oliver. He was in the band practice room just as I had assumed, and he was laying on the floor staring at the ceiling fan. I knocked lightly on the open door. He didn't acknowledge my existance. I walked in and sat on the beanbag chair adjacent to him.

"Hey," I said. "What's up with you?"

"I'm running away again," Oliver replied flatly. "I can't stand this fucking glorified prison anymore."

"Oh," I said. "Well, that's nice, I guess."

"Does Alissa like me?" Oliver asked. "I mean, do you think she would want to be with me?"

"Oh, yeah," I laughed. "Definitely. That's not a problem."

"Okay, thanks."

It was quiet for ten minutes before he spoke again.

"Do you think she would run away with me?"

"The way I see it, Liss would do anything to get out of our deadbeat town," I replied. "And being with you would be a plus."

...

Logan showed up at my room while I was getting ready for bed. He smiled and walked in, closing the door behind him. I sat down on my bed and he sat down next to me.

"If I don't marry someone by choice they'll force me to marry this one bitchy princess," Logan dives into the subject. "I chose to choose one."

"Right," I nodded.

"And I knew from what you said before that you wouldn't want to get married so early in life," Logan explained. "And then there's your scholarship."

"Yeah," I nodded again. It still didn't feel right. Logan stayed silent and played with his sleeves. "Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Does this mean..." I swallowed the lump in my throat. My eyes were burning. "Does this count as..."

I couldn't say it. I could ask if we were breaking up. I couldn't. He was the first person I had ever been in love with. He was the first person to actually understand me. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to cry. I didn't want to break up with him. I didn't.

Logan sniffled, his eyes getting glossy with salt water. I bit my lip. I placed my hand on top of his. Logan looked at me, his expression making me feel like someone was stabbing me in the heart.

"Logan..." I heaved a forced breath. I couldn't stop the crying anymore. I wrapped my arms around him and he wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face into his chest. I could hear his steady heartbeat. I wanted to stay like that forever. I never wanted to let go of him. God, I didn't. Logan's chest heaved with each muffled sob.

"Jess, can you promise me something?" Logan whispered. I nodded. "Don't forget about me. Please."

"Logan," I looked up at his tear-stained face. "There is no way I could ever forget you."

Logan nodded then continued to hold me close to him. I squeezed him so hard that my arms started to hurt.

So this is the end. This is how it feels to have your heart broken.

***

....




I cried while writing this, I'll have you know.


But....yeah...



Jogan is no more.


....

Hey, it was bound to happen.

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