in·fin·i·ty

Chapter 6

I stumble into my bathroom and collapse on the cold tile floor. I rest my head in my hands and try to forget the blank look in Harry's eyes but its all I can see. I glance at the body mirror on the door and stiffle another sob. The left side of my face is bruising and I don't recognize the person staring back at me.
Eyes that look defeated and one cheek that is different colors is all I can see in my reflection.

Dark thoughts threaten to take over my weak mind and I shake my head roughly, tears streaming down my face. I remember the looks of pity I receive from every person I walk past and I want to scream until I forget. My hands shake uncontrollably as the memories of the day my parents died resurface and I choke out a sob, rocking back and forth on the ground. The pain of the past and present is unbearable and I crawl to the sink, flinging open the cabinet door where my blade lays at the bottom. With shaking hands, I grab the cold piece of metal and drag it across my arm, sighing when I feel some of pain go away with my blood.

But its not enough, its never enough.

I blindly slash my arm again and again, until the skin is too ruined for me to do any more damage. That's when I start on my other wrist. A red haze fills my mind and blood is everywhere. Some instinct at the back of my mind tells me to stop, that I'm going too far, but I ignore it. I feel my thoughts start to slip away from me and the last thing that fills my brain is peace.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I feel my body being jostled around, but I'm too weak to open my eyes. I can hear voices, yet theyre too muffled for me to understand. I can't feel anything and a small smile comes to my face when I realize that this time I can't be saved.

I once again slip into oblivian.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A steady beeping fills my ears and my heavy eyes flutter open. Everything is white and I slowly realize that I'm lying in a hospital bed. My first feeling is regret. They weren't supposed to save me. A groan escapes my parted lips and I glance around the small room. Niall is sitting in a chair next to my bed and the look on his face makes me want to crawl into a hole.

I cough weakly, "Hey."

His blue eyes harden and I flinch. Niall runs a hand through his desheveled blonde hair and opens his mouth, closes it and then says, "What. The. Hell."

I look at my arms and swallow hard when I see the heavy bandages covering them. I don't look up at Niall when I reply.

"You weren't supposed to find me."

He shoots up from his chair and it falls back with a loud thud. I watch Niall carefully as he paces the room, a devestated look on his face.

"Thats bullshit Lizzy. What were you doing? I just don't get the reason why," he mutters grasping his hands together almost as if he doesnt know what to do with them.

I shake my head and glance out the window.

"You won't ever understand, Niall."

Thats the thing. I adore my bestfriend and I love the way he can always make me laugh, but I need somone who I can talk to and won't feel like theyre silently judging me. The worst part is that the one person I need most left me for someone else months ago.

He stops mid-stride and looks at me.

"What are you-" hes cut off when the hospital room door slams open and a very angry looking Harry storms into the room.