Summer Rain

Masked

I woke up to a text.

Hey you wanna go for a hike? u r up right?

Kodi. My face bloomed into a grin. Yes, of course.

Anywhere...

I quickly checked the time: 8:49am. Just a few minutes ago. I quickly began typing back.

Yeah if you're up then I'm down! When & where?

I locked my phone and slipped it into the pocket of my leggings. Funny how I was already half dressed for a good walk.

The shower whizzed to life, buzzing and thumping water onto the bathtub. I stepped in, turning the water cold to wet my hair and craning my body to avoid any skin contact. What can I say? It was freezing.

I hummed and clicked my tongue to a song playing on my bluetooth.

Just like a carousel
Full of thoughts that make me doubt myself

This song had been on repeat lately, and I was jamming harder with every listen. One line in particular got me, though. 

I'll hide my face behind a mask I've made
To cover up my shame
And when you find out that I'm not me
I'll flee the scene

Kodi... Would he flee when I found out about my disorder? The one thing that kept me... 

A thump, and I jumped, naked and afraid. I peeked out of the shower curtain, once again seeing that damn fucking dog enter the bathroom.

He barked, the sound muted and quiet. Food, he was telling me. Give me my damn food, human.

Ugh.

"Hold on, baby Bax'." I poured shampoo in my hand, beginning to scrub it into my hair. "I'll feed ya in just a sec'."

A soft, adorable puppy howl even though he was like seven now. I got him when I was ten.

My mind caught up to me. Today was July 24th. My birthday was less than a few days away... I'd be eighteen then.

A slight existential crisis thundered through me.

Old.

My life is almost a quarter over.

And what have I done...?

"Nothing."

--------------

I dragged myself down the stairs, a little surprised to not see Mom or Dad. I checked the time: 9:02am.

Flipping to a text from Kodi confirming the time, I went to the fridge, a little surprised to see a note on the whiteboard.

Hi baby!

We're out shopping. Be back around noon. Text us if you need anything from the store.

I re-checked the time. Three hours of shopping...?

Eh, could be worse.

I pulled out a piece of toast and some butter, putting both on the counter before digging around for some jam. I found a jar, and with a dull knife between my lips I spun the lid open.

Boisenberry.

Not my total favorite, but it's something. And it's semi-healthy, minus the butter. 

I re-checked the brand of butt' I was using. Not vegan. Shitaki mushrooms.

I switched it out, knowing I was totally committed to this no dairy no meat thing. I did have pizza with cheese the other day, though.

It was worth it.

I remember how massive his smile was, when we were about to part ways in the middle of the car garage. I had leaned forward after the hug, pecking his cheek and watching that smile boom three times the size.

He knew I had like next to no experience dating. Just a few guys here and there. 

Nothing too serious, but at the time those guys were my everything.

The toast popped up, perfectly cooked. I reached out, plucking it from the toaster and laying it down on the plate. Prepare to meet your fate, bread.

I grinned, whipping out the knife and pretending like it was sharp. My brain sometimes omg.

I slathered the vegan/coconut oil butter first, then layed down a layer of jam. I needed protein...

Peanut butter, you are MINE!!!

I was snacking on my toast when my phone buzzed from the counter. I peeked at it, holding onto the screen and smiling wide.

Kodi: Hey what're your thoughts on perfect playlists? need something for the drive ;)

omg.

I began typing back, toast in my mouth.

Me: Check out the band Eat Your Heart Out? So good. listened to them again this morning!

Kodi: ah, an early riser. cool, cool.

I checked the time: 11:28am. Was he being serious...?

Me: you know I need more sleep than the average sloth TnT

K: Edy's slow choined icce cream

I laughed and sent the appropriate emoji, then devoured my toast. I was still in pajamas, pajamas I was wiping bread crumbs on. I needed to get dressed. I had like--

Shit I had like a half-hour to get ready. We were probably doing lunch, too, so I needed to dress casual but sporty.

I pulled opened my dresser drawer, digging through sleeveless or spaghetti strap shirts. I had no gym wear. Damn my luck...

I was scrolling through Amazon for an athletic razorback as I waited for my straightening iron to heat up. I peeked in the mirror, sweeping a hand through a strand of hair, going down from the root.

I looked okay, minus having no makeup and my hair being everywhere. I pushed my bangs back, beginning to apply foundation, primer... The works.

My straightening iron beeped as I was applying my raccoon eyeliner. I blinked, pulling back and sniffing a little. Was I coming down with something?

A case of Kodi-fever, maybe.

About sixty seconds later, I was done with my makeup. My eyes looked huge, thanks to my white eyeliner, and my hair was.......

Done!

Kodi, here I come!