Stolen Innocence

47- The letter she wrote

Jesse's POV

Looking in the floor-length mirror, I decide I looked fine considering I was going to a funeral right now. I have never cried so much as I have in the last week. He took her and my son away from me with one swift and well-aimed move. I wasn't sure if I could even continue to live my life after that. 

Today is her funeral, the doctor tried his hardest to save her. That's what he told me when he approached me sitting there in the waiting room. He couldn't save her; she was too far gone when she made it to his operating table, and she ended up dying. When he told me that I had punched the wall beside me, I was so angry and it all made me want to kill Charlie, to finish the job. But Jake wouldn't let me do that as it would mean significant jail time, so he held me back by force, so today I am able to attend her funeral.  I could not be the one to tell Suri that her best friend died, so I let him call her that day. 

I let my mind drift back to the events of that day as I drove myself to the church where it was being held. I wanted a good stiff drink so badly right now. But I couldn't because I couldn't show up to this drunk, so I avoided the alcohol just for her, none of this seemed very fair to me. I feel a tap on my shoulder and look behind me to see who is there. "Hey, Jesse! How's it going?" Suri pulls me in for a hug. We had grown closer in the past few days, as we planned her funeral together.

I was feeling so bitter, so angry at everything. "How the Fuck do you think I'm doing, Suri? My wife and my son are both dead, they are both gone. There is nothing I can do to get them back. I don't know what to do here, I don't know how to live without her here." I say through strong emotions. I watched as she threw up her hands and took a step back, I know I upset her, but I was still so pissed off.

I get pulled in for another hug, "I am sorry Jesse, I wish I knew what to say to make it all better. Just know that I am so sorry. I know how much you loved her." She says through tears that I noticed started to fall down her cheeks, and I hugged her back this time.

"Hey guys, should we go ahead and head inside?" Jake asks stepping up behind her, his arms full of kids. I smiled up at him, and pull him in for a hug as well. Nothing like having family surround you in a time of need. 

I follow them into the church, and I immediately notice the casket open at the front of the chapel. I walked up to it and looked at her beautiful face, and I couldn't lie to myself. Suri had done an amazing job on her makeup, she looked so peaceful laying there. When I picked out her dress, the baby blue lace number she was wearing as she lay there in the casket, I hoped it suited her tastes well because it was her birthstone. The deep blue exterior almost looks sapphire. The soft yellow interior lining helped offset the deep color. "I am sorry my love. I am sorry that I didn't protect you that night. I'm sorry for everything I hurt you before and after. God, I Love you so much and I don't know what to do now! How will I live my life now without you? I am so sorry, and by the way, you look so lovely today." I say through my tears, feeling Suri's hand slip inside my own, I glance down before turning to see her standing there beside me... tears in her eyes, giving me another hug for comfort.

She whispers to my ear, "I'm sorry Jesse." She releases me and hands me the baby. They had named him Jackson Albert Stone, he was a very handsome little devil who looked just like his Daddy. I felt happy when Jake and Suri told me they would not change the fact that I was Bree and Jackson's godfather, that they wanted to keep me as a part of their family. I was going to remain Little Bree's and Jackson's Uncle Jesse no matter what. We walked slowly to our seats listening to the depressing music the pianist was playing.

I sat down in the front aisle waiting for the service to begin; they had me speaking last, so I wasn't sure what I was going to say to everyone. But I knew that I had just decided to speak from my heart. Her sister's and her mother all came to town to attend her funeral, and I was saddened that they lost touch with her over the years. I was upset by the fact that they didn't consider her worthy of their time in the first place, but this was neither the time nor the place to tell them that.