Poems i Create

nothing

When I can't sleep,
or when I'm alone.
They begin to whisper,
begin to torment.

My legs feel weak,
my eyes tired.
I look fine,
but I'm empty inside.

Waking up,
is like a routine of pain.
A routine,
with countless rules.

Don't be confident,
it won't even last long.
Don't be happy,
they'll just take it away.

Be conscious,
but don't show it.
Be sad,
but still smile.

You become louder,
then they laugh,
and wonder,
why you don't talk.

You become creative,
then they judge you,
and wonder,
why you stopped.

You get better,
then they punish you,
and wonder,
why you got worse.

They think they help,
but they only,
make it worse.

They think,
your okay,
but really,
you're not.

You think they're gone,
but they never left.
You think they love you,
but they only destroy you.

They ask,
why you destroyed yourself.
You don't even know,
but they always have.

You think they care,
they're indifferent.
They say you're different,
but you'll never be.

One thing is true,
they're is a connection.
An indescribable, painful,
connection.

You cause pain,
they support it.
You feel sad,
they make it obvious.

You're about to go out,
and they say you can't.
You're about to study,
but they say you still won't pass.

What's the point?
You ask,
but their is none,
it's too far now.

Pain,
in your head.
Tolerance,
in your bones.

Your hair,
isn't perfect.
You eyes,
aren't beautiful.
Those are lies,
others tell you.

They would never,
lie to you.
They only ever,
speak the truth.
In reality,
even that's a lie.

You feel like nothing,
and they agree.
You don't look special,
and it's true.

When you love,
it becomes worse.
The pain,
is multiplied.
The suffering,
is never shown.

You love them,
but they don't back.
You hate yourself,
but not them.

When you look,
in a mirror.
You wish to be,
like them.

When you look good,
they look better.
When you feel bad,
they feel great.

You don't know it,
but they feed,
off your suffering.
That's all it is.

When you look,
in a mirror.
You see them,
only worse.

And they know something,
that you don't.

You are them,
and they are you.
You are one,
connected by failure.
You're failure,
you're insults.
You're body,
you're mind.

They are anxiety,
and you are nothing.