Stars | completed

38. Cabir-the-Cupid

✿ ✿ ✿

name: Cabir-the-Cupid
word count: 3000 words
published on: 29th March, 2020

✿ ✿ ✿

N A N D I N I

Cabir and Navya were still asleep when we reached, so I directly took the parcels in the kitchen and emptied them down. I hadn't eaten much at the diner but I didn't feel like eating anymore after that conversation.

Although I did not want to even look at Manik for a while, I didn't want to name the conversation as a fight yet.

I hated fighting, especially with people who truly cared about me. I didn't have a lot of those in my life, so I liked keeping the ones that I had very close to me.

Trying to ignore facing Manik, I skipped the living room, which is where he probably was, and went into my room, and onto the roof. I never really sat there during day, but I couldn't think of a better place to find a much needed peace of mind.

It had barely been minutes of sitting alone when my thoughts started wandering back to the conversation– fight, whatever. Maybe I did push Manik a bit too much.

Telling him everything because I trust him is my choice. He's never forced me to tell anything. Maybe he just needed space and I needed to stop suffocating him.

I was attuned in my thoughts when the slide opened and Manik came out, settling next to me while I stared at him with confusion and he avoided my eyes, and then he pulled out a plate behind him.

"You barely even ate anything, have your food," he said– more like ordered in a soft tone.

"I... I don't want it," I resisted.

"Take it, I know you want to," he rolled his eyes.

I gave a helpless sigh and picked it up, fidgeting with my vegetable pasta salad, my thoughts still a chaos. "I'm sorry," I said softly.

"You're sorry?" His head jerked up, confused as I gulped a bite and nodded. "I was here to tell you that... why would you be sorry?"

"Yeah, I– I pushed you, Manik. I never wanted to do that. I just wanted you to know that I'd be there for you if you want to speak to me just like you're always there for me; you don't have to always keep it all inside. As long as you know that I'm there for you too, everything's okay," I gave him a half smile.

"Nandini...," he sighed, "It's– it's not you, it's me. Everyone has different ways of dealing with their problems and most people like speaking it out; but me, on the other hand, I like to keep it inside until I forget it. That's just my way of coping. It's not about trust or anything because I want you to know that I trust you with my life. If I'm drowning someday, there is no one I can trust more than you to save my life."

I stared at him for a second too long and my eyes twinkled because i know how much what he just said meant, especially when it came from someone who almost lost his life drowning and then lost his mother saving me.

He continued, "And if it means so much to you, Nandini, then I'll tell you–"

I cut him off, "No Manik, I don't want you to–" he silenced me with a finger on my mouth.

"Ever since I lost my Mom, I had this overwhelming urge to protect everyone close to me, you know? So I felt like a failure. I felt like I failed to protect you, to protect Mukti, to protect my band and my friends because I abandoned them, and then I failed to protect Inaaya. And it sucked. The only reason I came and took over this company and worked so hard for it was to satisfy myself that I am not a failure in one way atleast, and then you came along again, and I'm trying to tell myself that what happened was not my fault... and then Cabir came, and I see atleast three of you are with me, fit and fine even if not totally happy, so I keep telling myself that maybe I didn't really fail after all. I'm not there yet, but I'm sure I'll get there one day."