something old, something new | taekook

Chapter 8: A Promise To Never Be Broken

****

Jeongguk jolts up with a gasp, jolting out of Taehyung's arms as he flings himself back. His arms pinwheel as his breath comes hard and fast. Each breath feels like a chore, his chest heaving as he tries to pull oxygen in. Every breath burns and his hands shake and the tears overflow, his entire body aching from how tense he is.

"Darling, please," that low voice is in his ears, in his head, "you need to breathe, my love."

He can only shake his head vigorously, arms wrapped tight around his body. He feels dirty. Unclean. Ruined. Filthy. Filthy.

"You are none of those things, precious," Taehyung's voice comes closer, a tentative hand touching his arm before a firm hand slides across his shoulder blades. He lets himself be pulled to his chest reluctantly. Too tired to fight back.

He's unworthy of being held like this, not worthy of Taehyung's attention.

He was right. He's a monster. Friendless. Unloved.

The king's grip tightens even further.

"You stop that right now." Taehyung's voice is firm in his ear, lips pressing to his cheek as he tries to steady his breathing. His arms firm around his body, immovable. Strong. "You are nothing that that worm tried to make you." He assures, but Jeongguk is unconvinced. He remembers the blood. The screaming. The death.

He remembers what he did.

"I'm a monster," he chokes out, voice wet and shaken as he cries against Taehyung's chest. "I'm weak. A burden. I'm, I'm only good for-."

"No!" Taehyung's voice is sharp, cutting through his words and bringing him to a stunned silence.

Jeongguk's face lifts from his chest, peering up through his wet lashes. Taehyung's hands slide from his waist up to his face, palms cradling his jaw gently as if he was made of glass. Perhaps he really was as fragile as he felt.

"If you are a monster, you perfect boy, if you must be," Taehyung breathes, pitch-black eyes shining like small galaxies as he stares him down so intently, "then you are my monster." Jeongguk's eyes widen, breath hitching.

The king's expression is firm, fingers gently brushing over his cheeks, lips, forehead. Making sure he's calming down.

But then his expression falters, and Jeongguk watches as one of Taehyung's hands drops to grip his own. Fingers twining.

"Unless you would rather... not?" He offers, and Jeongguk would almost say he sounds tentative if he wasn't so surprised by the sudden turn.

"What?" He breathes, confused, head still fuzzy and heart pounding. Taehyung's blood still stains his teeth, he can smell where it's drying around his mouth.

"I... I will not force you to stay with me, Jeongguk," Taehyung says slowly, eyes searching his face.

Jeongguk wonders what he's looking for- wonders if he can find it in him.

"Why, why would I leave?" His hand tightens around Taehyung's panic gripping his throat. "Do you want me to leave?" He can't, he doesn't-

"Of course I don't." Taehyung shushes gently. He leans in, presses a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, "darling, I would keep you by my side forever if you wished it, until the oceans dried up and the moon fell from the sky." Was this where the other shoe finally dropped? "But I will not lead you into another life you do not want." Taehyung finishes, voice tapering to a whisper.

Jeongguk's chest tightens, eyes stinging. "You could never." He says, voice just as soft and quiet. "Taehyungie..." He trails off, eyes dropping to their linked hands, staring at Taehyung's bloodstained sleeve. "I don't want to leave you." His voice catches and he leans in, tucking his face under Taehyung's chin. A strong arm slips down to loop around his waist tightly. "Please... don't let me go." He pleads, and he feels Taehyung shake his head quickly.