Hogwarts School of Witch - holy schist is that a skeleton?

2 - The Titfer, the Toad, and the Train

I can't remember anything about the train journey, apart from Harry spying on Draco and getting his nose broken, so I'll make it up.

Also, for those wondering; Titfer means a hat in British slang, I wanted to make a Narnia reference but also wanted alliteration. It says so here: https://www.thefreedictionary.com/titfer

That innkeeper and his eye. I swear, the next time he winks at me I'll take his strap him to a rock and have his eye removed by a cockroach every day. Unoriginal, but it works!

After eating more ice cream for breakfast, we went to King's Cross station. We ran into the wrong side of the barrier, got looked at funny by everyone, then ran into the right side of the barrier and emerged onto a platform crowded with witches and wizards (basically, oddly dressed mortals).

We looked around for the saviour we had met and saw him a couple meters away, with his friends, their family, a group of guards, and a...
"Dog?" Will questioned.
"That's a dog, Will. Do I need to call Mrs O'Leary?" Will paled at the thought of being jumped by that truck of a mutt.

I laughed at his expression and walked towards them, slinking my way through people. I was almost at them when I heard Will shout from behind me. "Nico! Wait! I'm an archer, not an assassin!" I laughed at him again and slowed down. This way, we reached the group at the same time.

"Hello morta- friends I totally didn't try to kill. Nice do-" I was about to compliment the dog, before I noticed something. Its eyes- they were too intelligent, bright, intense. "I know dogs are meant to be smart, but that thing looks too smart. Is it really a dog?"

They all looked shiftily at each other, and the plump ginger one (whom I'm guessing is the angry one's mother) stared angrily at the dog. "That's a no then."

Will looked at me. He had that look on his face, the one that said, "You just messed up." I looked at him in confusion, and he just shook his head.

Hermione was the first one to speak up. "What are you talking about? He's a perfectly normal dog!" I raised an eyebrow at her. "Fine, I'll go along with it. But someone's telling me what it is later."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Bloody hell, are we not even allowed pets without you trying to kill us?"
"Killing people is my job, nothing personal."

They all stared at me in shock. "Ahh, I said too much. Will, I leave it to you to rescue the situation. I'll go find a compartment."

And then I ran away. Seriously, why am I the one they trust with a diplomatic mission?

———

I sat alone in the compartment. I mean, it was originally full of chattering people, but I sat down and they all left. I just have that kind of aura.

After waiting for a while, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Will joined us. Because of how anti-mortal I am, I was sitting in a corner. Harry sat opposite me, Ron sat next to him, and Hermione sat opposite Ron; therefore next to me. It was obvious what they were trying to do; block me and Will off from each other so we couldn't do anything without them noticing. But there was one thing they hadn't accounted for:

"Nico, you make a comfortable pillow." Will had sat himself on my lap. Hermione, Ron, and Harry all exchanged uncomfortable glances. I frowned at them. "What? You never seen a gay couple before?"

Hermione started. "No, it's just-" Will cut her off.
"Shocked we saw through your plan? Well, try a little better next time."

We sat there chatting, with the other 3 eventually joining in. The conversation swung around to their favourite spells.