CHAOS || taeten

chapter 1

! warning ! This chapter includes mentioning of suicide. Please do NOT read if you don't think that you're comfortable reading. Please always keep in mind that there are many people who sincerely love you and care about you. Please talk to someone when you feel like you can't handle your problems on your own anymore.

"what the fuck dude... you're so gay."
"stay away from me you filthy whore."
"don't look at me like that. you dreaming about me fucking you?"
"you're so ugly."

You take one wrong path in your life and will get punished for it for the rest of your life. One year ago everything changed. I used to be quiet popular in university and went to a lot of parties with my friends.
One day I met him at a party. Kim Jongin.
He was the most attractive man I've ever seen and I immediately fell for him. Later that evening he came over to me. When he whispered in my ear I forgot all of my morals and followed him upstairs. That night he took my virginity and I was the happiest human being the day after.

Until I went to university the next day.

Everybody was looking at me and laughing when I walked past them. Later I found out that Jongin told the whole school that I got him drunk and forced him to let me give him a blowjob.
Since that day nobody wanted to talk to me ever again. Just Jaehyun stayed by my side.

Today was a particularly bad day. Tears were running down my cheeks when I finally arrived at my apartment. I could still hear the mocking voices of my fellow students.

Desperately, I ran straight to the bathroom. The world was so dark. I couldn't live another day like that. It would be better for everyone if I no longer existed. Trembling, I reached for a razor blade.
„Why is my life so messed up? Why doesn't anyone listen to me? Dear God, if you really exist... Please show me there's something worth fighting for." I cried.

Sobbing, I put the blade to my wrist and closed my eyes. I wanted to finally feel the life drain out of me.

„I can tell you right now, this won't kill you. You won't be able to cut deep enough and you'll feel even more useless afterwards."

Startled, I dropped the blade as the unknown, deep voice echoed through the bathroom.

There was a young man standing in the doorway. His hair was blood-red and he had a slight grin on his lips. His eyes were as dark as the night. He was wearing an elegant black suit.

My mind was racing with too many thoughts. I stared at the stranger in shock and then noticed that everything went black as I collapsed.
„Humans...", sighed the guy and carried my motionless body to my bedroom.