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His arm hurt. Pain was something he'd thought he'd never feel again but as he sat with a cool hand soothing the bite on his forearm, Jamie felt it humming beneath his skin tenfold to what he would feel if he was human. The night was crisp and that helped clear his head, clothes still smelling of the deer blood he had managed to feed on.
He had ruined the suit and that upset Jamie more than the pain, sitting in the foliage beneath the trees to try and keep dry from the rain. He had caught Alice and Jasper's scents a few miles back but he thought to give them a wide berth, knowing that Jasper would be feeling as miserable as himself.
A part of it made Jamie feel lonely, nestled in the forest on his own but he didn't feel it right to go back to the house just yet. He lifted his hand and saw the fine crescents of puckered skin. He wasn't surprised to see that the bite scarred, not when he had spotted so many on Jasper's skin, but it looked strange to him. He traced it with his fingers and he could barely feel the bump of it, an impurity on the otherwise flawless skin of his arm.
He rolled his sleeve down after a while, bored of looking at it and he sat there a little longer. He thought of Agent Bryant and his return; wondering if he'd be up in the night, hunched at a table in some motel room and pouring over his notes until he went cross-eyed. That's what I'd be doing, he knew. But instead I'm here, soaked to my ass and too scared to go home and face my disappointed parents.
Jamie hadn't been sardonic in a long time and it felt a nice release. He decided to go back then, as the rain was letting up and he was tried of staring at the trees in front of him. The downpour had muddied the earth and as he ran, Jamie couldn't help but ruin the suit even more, shoes sinking into the undergrowth.
He was close to the house when he was startled into skidding to a stop, spotting Carlisle in the trees ahead. They saw one another and Jamie sped ahead to meet him. He was conscious that he smelt like wet soil and mulch, mud kicked up to his shins and he was ashamed about the state of his clothes.
Carlisle had changed out of his own suit, to get the smell of human blood off him and for more comfortable running. He sported a dark jumper, mud dotted on the ankles of his own slacks.
"I spoke to Alice and Jasper, they told me that you'd be nearby," he said when they were near enough to each other.
"I was just coming back,"
They turned and began their way through the forest. They walked slowly, wanting time to talk and they kept away from the difficult path.
"I was worried that you'd taken off," Carlisle told him. Jamie looked at him from the corner of his eye, seeing his features set deeply and brushed shoulders with him. "No. I've got nowhere but Denali to go and I can't put up with Tanya and Kate picking me apart."
Carlisle laughed and the noise filled Jamie's ears, warming them. He enjoyed it and when Carlisle glanced at him, he realised that he was smiling. They looked at each other a moment, pleasant in the silence and Jamie's smile turned troubled. "How is Bella?"
"She has a curious mind, that girl. She stronger than you think."
"I almost killed her."
Carlisle didn't turn to look at him again. "I know."
"I would have, if you hadn't stopped me."
"I know."
Jamie licked his lips, for no reason other than to do something human and calm his nerves. "For a moment when I left, I thought about turning around, going into the town and finding someone worth less trouble there."
"But you didn't," and this time Carlisle turned his head. He was proud, as if he had all faith that Jamie would've overcome his bloodlust. Not for the first time, Jamie was taken aback by the genuineness of him. They stepped into a small patch where the trees cleared and by a display of divine intervention, the clouds thinned to make way for the moonlight. It caught the blonde of Carlisle's hair and in it, he looked ridiculously angelic.
By some new force of habit, Jamie's hand found the bite mark again. He pressed down on it through his sleeve and realised that he could feel no pain from it anymore. At that he turned away from Carlisle instead, trying to distance himself from the weight of such blissful attention and the sudden euphoria it gave him.
When Carlisle caught up to him, they stayed silent all the way back to the house. When they were close enough, they saw Esme's silhouette in one of the windows, watching them appear out of the tree line. When he spotted her, Jamie slowed and the guilt churned at the base of his gullet again. He felt Carlisle beside him, guiding and calming and when their shoulders touched it was different to Jamie's teasing bump earlier.
Jamie didn't look back when he walked forward, and when he crossed the threshold into the house again, he didn't feel like a stranger.
The meeting was the first time Jamie had truly felt the dynamic of the family. They were all in the second floor living room, sitting or standing but all in tune with one another. Edward stood before them, grim and despairing. He spoke to them all but it was Carlisle he directly reached out to, and Jamie saw how he really was the backbone of the family.
He kept it upright, supporting and protecting as the ribs grew out. It was strange to finally understand him in that light, knowing the responsibility that came with being their leader. There were things to navigate in their world that Jamie was far from grasping, connections and groups like their own to keep wary of. It made him realise the extent of what he had been blind to for so long.
They spoke of relocation. But in end it didn't matter their influence or arguments, as Edward had already decided what was best for Bella. She wouldn't do well to be with him, he explained heavily, barely able to say the words.
Rosalie was vocal about her agreement on leaving and Emmett, while disappointed in the situation, did not go against her. Alice surprisingly, was quiet. She held onto Jasper's hand and at times Edward would glance at her, something silent going on between them.
Jamie pictured Agent Bryant again, laying in wait in the town and digging up whatever bones he could find of the case. It uneased him to know he was so close and he decided to say as much. They all considered his words and they were silent as they waited for Carlisle to speak.
Jamie was standing at Esme's shoulder where she sat in an armchair. He watched the decisiveness in Carlisle's eyes, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs. After a moment he looked up to all of them and his face was assertive. "It seems in our best interests to move away. Edward, if you are absolutely sure?"
At his weighted nod Carlisle looked around the room, they all seemed unanimous, however reluctant and he stood. "Then it's decided," and he and seemed saddened to say it. "Get everything in order, we'll be gone by the end of the week."
