I Solemnly Swear I'm Unintentionally Up to No Good

Chapter One

1| Summer Flings

"Malfoy, you git! Say that one more time!" Harry snapped, breaking away from his friends. 

"You think I won't, Potter?"

Ron grumbled, "Oi, how long do you think they're going to keep this up? I just want to have a peaceful Hogsmeade trip for once. Is that too much to ask?"

"Apparently," Hermione sighed, crossing her arms. 

They waited another minute, but the boys were at each other's throats; after blood.

"I should teach you a lesson, Potter." Draco hissed, "But luckily for you I haven't any desire to share another detention with your ugly face."

"Is that your lame excuse for being a coward, Malfoy? That's alright, I get it, you're scared I'll mess up that pretty little face of yours."

"Oh, please! Don't flirt with me, we both know I'm far out of your league," Draco retorted smugly. 

Hermione groaned, marching over to grab Harry by the back of his shirt, muttering, "Enough of this." She hauled him off towards The Three Broomsticks Pub with Ron right on their heels.

Draco snickered, calling after them, "Having your girlfriend save you now, are ya Potter?" 

"Bloody hell, Hermione! What'd you do that for?" Harry protested, jerking free of her grip. 

"Well, I've had just about enough of the two of you constantly bickering. Can't you just let it go, Harry? I mean, seriously, you're a Sixth Year, and we have more important things to be focusing on than your rivalry with Draco Malfoy."

Ron nodded behind her. "Yeah, Harry, we've hardly any time to relax as it is without you and Malfoy going at it every five seconds."

"How can you say that? That twat—"

"Yes, Harry. Ron and I know more than anyone how difficult Malfoy can be. But lately you've been letting it get out of hand, so lets just ignore him and have some butterbeer."

Harry just nodded begrudgingly, following them into the pub. 

The group had barely made it a step into the door before two harmonious voices bellowed, "Oh, look, it's Mr. Casanova!" Two hands clapped Ron on the back, pulling him over to their table. 

Ron looked squeamish in the grasp of his troublesome twin brothers. 

"George, remind me again what our lil' brother was up to this summer," Fred said, tilting his head with a mischievous smirk.

Ron groaned, "Oh, cm'on!"

"Ah, you mean when we walked in on our babe brotha kissin' the mirror?" George grinned, plopping down in a chair.

Harry chuckled, giving Ron a questioning look. 

"Alright, guys, you told them. Can we be done with it now?" Ron muttered, slouching down in a chair of his own. 

"What'd ya think?" Fred asked, turning to George, "Shall we let him live it down?"

George mockingly tapped his finger on his lips, "We could. Or..."

"We could tell Harry and Hermione all about it!" they finished in unison. 

Ron groaned, putting his head in his hands.

Hermione just shook her head, taking a seat next to Ron, with a sigh. 

Harry snicked, slightly relieved for the twins' carefree nature, he sat down between Ron and George. Fred was still standing, beginning to reenact the whole ordeal to the table; making faces as he smashed his lips onto one of the pub's silver plates. While George animated the performance by adding Ron's "internal dialogue." 

"And Ron's current thoughts are telling me if we find any dung under our pillows tonight, Fred, we can assume who it's from," George said patting Ron on the back with a laugh. 

"Well, you can never have too much dung," Fred smirked, finally sitting down at the table. 

Harry could only imagine the amount of the twins' pranks that included fecal matter. 

Ron seemed to be thinking the same as he groaned, "Like I would ever be foolish enough to supply you two with dung." 

With another chuckle, George stood, "How about we go get you a butterbeer, Pouty Pants." 

"Anybody else?" Fred asked.

"Two here," Harry called. 

The second the twins were out of earshot, Ron gave them Harry and Hermione a dead stare, "We will never speak of this again." He said, fidgeting with his hands, "Besides they were exaggerating it anyway."

"But it's true then? They caught you kissing the mirror in the bathroom?" Harry asked in disbelief. 

"You're mentioning it! I just  said never to mention it!" 

Harry suppressed a smile, "Like the twins are going to follow that rule."

Hermione cleared her throat. "I'm surprised your brothers are back at school to begin with. I was under the impression they had lost interest in their academics after last year."

Ron shrugged, "Redoing their Seventh Year wasn't the plan, but they got a few letters over the break from Hogwarts that seemed to change their minds."

"How so?"

"Haven't a clue, they've been weird about the whole thing." Ron glanced over his shoulder, his voice dropping to a whisper, "Actually, I was thinking them being back at Hogwarts gives me a perfect chance to get a little payback."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, is that smart?" Harry frowned.

"What? You think I can't handle my brothers?" 

Harry scoffed, "No one can handle your brothers."

"Besides, we don't have time for silly pranks," Hermione added sternly. 

"Guys! Come on!" Ron pleaded.

"Well, what'd you have in mind?" Harry asked.

Hermione sighed, "Whatever it is, I will not be a part of it." She stood to leave.

"Hermione, don't be like that!" Ron protested. 

"Well, I  actually care about my N.E.W.T. classes, so I'm going to study, you'd be wise to do the same," she said, putting on her hat as she left. 

"Never mind her," Ron said, "we've got a prank to plan."