The Fragility of Fate ✔️

06 | On Edge

Miesha

My wolf was stirring inside me, restless and unsettled. It was hard to determine whether my mind was plagued by nightmares or replays of reality, as everything had become a chasm of misery that had no escape.

Although I was only just gaining control of my body, my mind had woken a little sooner, enough to know there were two women in the room with me. The smell made it clear I was in a hospital or medical facility of some description, the bleach overpowering every other scent.  At least it wasn't the stench of his cigarettes. I could only lay still, forced to remain an unwilling participant until the sedatives from earlier wore off.

Anger brewed inside me with each passing moment. It felt like what I imagine being buried alive would feel like... Still mentally alert, but unable to move and beg for help. But another reminder... Mustering all of the inner strength I possessed, and with the push of my wolf, I managed to slowly open my eyes and sync my body and mind to cohesively work together.

Groggily and with significant effort, I managed to heave myself into a sitting up position. Using my upper body, I pushed myself upright, bringing the blanket that was draped across me up higher as if it was an impenetrable shield of armor.

Upon opening my eyes I was greeted by the faces of two women staring at me sympathetically.

The woman with long blonde hair spoke first, gesturing to herself by placing her hand on her chest, "Hello... I'm Catherine. I am your doctor. Try and control your breathing... You are safe. We will explain everything..."

Clutching at the sheets, my gaze jumped between the two women who kept their distance against the window. My thoughts were scattered, but I nodded briefly. The heart rate monitor piquing. The hum of the air conditioner. The rattle of the bed rail. The dripping of saline from the bag to my arm. The smirk of his face. The birthmark on his right thigh. It's funny the things you recount in a state of stress. I couldn't focus.

Interrupting my thoughts, the other spoke, "I know how scared you must feel. I'm Adrienne. I'm the healer of the Cross Rivers Pack. We found you during a raid and brought you back to our pack. You've been here in our hospital for the past two weeks. We have the perimeters surrounded, we can assure you that no-one is able to get to you. I promise."

She sounded so self assured and calm. Her very being exuded a level of ethereal glow.... But I could not believe her words despite knowing she believed them herself.

I kept fiddling with my blanket, staring anywhere but their faces until the woman with blonde hair stepped forward, "Can you tell us your name?"

I shook my head as a vehement no. It's safer that way. The less others know, the better.

My voice raised with each passing statement, "I need to leave. I have to go. When can I go?!" I tried to hoist myself off the bed, but was stopped by a searing pain that traveled through my left leg towards my hip. Letting out a shriek I tried to move, panic setting in...

"Why can't I move my leg?! What's going on? Why haven't I healed yet?!?"

"When you were found, you had significant injuries... It wasn't apparent at the time whether you'd survive... We've been using a mix of conventional and... other ways to help give your body the best chance of healing."

I didn't get it. "You're being vague! How long will I be like this?! I can't walk!!!"

Catherine gulped, her stony silence saying far more than what she'd intended.

"We don't know. Your hip was fractured, as well as several ribs... Your lack of healing has been exacerbated by the weakened physical state you were in when you were found, and the fact you don't have the presence of your mate to help you."

My anxiety echoed in my ears. Mate, sure.

"You said when I was found... Who found me?"

Both women looked at each other, before Adrienne gently stated, "Our Alpha found you, Gabriel Cross of the Cross Rivers Pack... He brought you here".

I didn't say it out loud, but I thought it loud and clear... He should have left me to die.

I said the only thing I could think of, "I'm sorry to be a burden to him and your pack's resources... I will leave as soon I am well enough to walk and your pack can go back to normal".

Before Adrienne or Catherine could respond, I turned my head, making it abundantly clear that I didn't want to talk about it anymore. As both women took their cue to leave me be, tears silently rolled down my face as I tried my best to hold in my sobs.

As kind as I sensed they were, I couldn't afford to stay in one place for too long and risk their safety because of me. It didn't matter where I was. Who I was with. Or how long I was missing from him. I knew I would see the contours of his face etched with that unnerving smile again. I knew I would be held captive by his crazed cobalt stare again. And I knew that again, I would hear the taunting hum that signaled the calm before every storm.

It was only a matter of time...

~

The passing of my time in the pack hospital only registered by the ticking of the analogue clock that was crooked against the wall in corner of the room. Nurses came and left. There were physiotherapy sessions to try and help me walk again, chats where Catherine or Adrienne would try and engage me in conversation, but mostly my time was spent ashamedly wallowing in my own self pity. I just wanted to be left alone...

After nearly two weeks, Catherine had told me that I was ready to be discharged so I could 'begin to heal properly', whatever that meant.

Apparently the Alpha had made arrangements for me to stay under Adrienne's care since I needed support with day to day tasks. I didn't want to go, but I knew that by the end of the day, I'd be forced to leave the confines of my room and become the object of peoples' states and hushed whispers.

I sat on the edge of the bed and looked out the window. My only company were the crutches at my side to help me walk. A constant reminder of what he'd done. A constant reminder of my ugliness. I hated myself.

I didn't know how long I could maintain the facade. Masquerading as a docile fawn when all I wanted to do was claw at my skin and release the memory of him. I wanted to scream. I wanted to howl. Each breath was a strain to hold together, as if the shallowness of it stopped me cracking open onto the floor. I wanted to get out of here.

A knock at the door pulled me back to reality, Adrienne cautiously stepping in. Watching her intently, I smiled... She had such an air of confidence that was balanced with warmth, someone who may have been a friend in different circumstances.

"Okay, you ready?" She stayed at the door and held it open. I was thankful that she didn't place further indignity on me by helping me up. Instead, I slowly supported myself from the bed and used my crutches to walk towards the door. Perhaps she knew I needed to feel some level of control over myself.

She gave a gentle nod in silent acknowledgement before we met Catherine. I was finally discharged with a long list of upcoming appointments and instructions before giving her a smile in appreciation. I wish I could have said something, but I couldn't. I figured this would be the last time I saw her... And I didn't have the heart to apologize in advance that her efforts would probably be wasted.

Thank you for reading.

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