Inexplicable Feelings

Chapter # 4

...I am burning endlessly in my misery. You threw me into that dark abyss so mercilessly. And this is caused by nothing but the fire of my love....

Evelyn POV:-

I look at my reflection in the mirror and in that reflection there's anything but me. An aristocratic woman with a cold heart torn into pieces stood there.

A void girl with exhaust feelings.

"Am I doing the right thing?" I whispered under my breath.

What am I feeling right now is beyond anyone's understanding- even mine. I don't know what I am thinking or what I should be thinking. I just know that I saved lives by destroying my own.

From outside, I looked like an exquisite lady with graceful and ravishing looks. But from inside, I feel like my fragmented heart is in a desolate place all alone in despair with no one to save it.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment to escape from my world and remembered the anguish I felt in all those years because of him.

***

I was 8 years old and was sitting in the hall and mother said, "Evelyn, Go get ready your uncle is coming for dinner."

"So?" I said monotonously, it's not even a new thing for me that uncle is coming for dinner.

"Fine stay here." Mother sighed and said that as she left for the kitchen.

Later, when I walked down the stairs for dinner I saw Adrian and Lawrence there. Adrian is 2 years older than me while Lawrence is 4 years older than me.

When I looked at Adrian my heart began to beat so loudly as I felt butterflies in my stomach. I quickly ran to my room and wore my favorite Blue frock and combed my hair.

"Hey Everyone..."

I walked down and greeted everyone with a smile and in my usual decent manner. During dinner, just meaningless eye contact with him made my heart skip a beat.

Whenever I saw him, a sweet feeling of something inexplicable used to rush in my veins, I treasure those emotions with whom I grew up.

A feeling of elation gushed through me whenever we met or I just caught a glimpse of him. With those immense feelings, I grew up.

Watching him from afar and loving his one sight, desiring nothing but to talk and see him.

When I turned 19 I couldn't take it anymore and decided to confess to Adrian. I and Adrian were standing on the rooftop of his house.

"Adrian, listen, I have liked you ever since our childhood and I still do," I said with my eyes shut.

My heart was beating so fast as it could leap out of my chest. An unpleasant feeling filled me when I opened my eyes. Adrian stared at me for a second and sighed.

"Look, Evelyn. I don't feel the same for you. You're just like a family." I nodded while my heart was being frayed, I passed him a faint smile.

"I understand." I said as I left.

Okay, I understand that he doesn't like me but at least he should think about it. He broke my years of fondness in mere seconds but I can't blame him if he doesn't feel the same.

I cried to myself all night that day. After a few days of it, I tried to talk to Adrian again but the way he talked to me.

I realized that I am an idiot to fall for someone like him and from that moment I swear to myself that I'll show him that I am happy without him and I don't even need him.