being 'fat'

xvii.

the next morning, fran slept in. no one woke her up.. she had no school or at least not early in the morning like she was used to.
was this what freedom felt like?
she woke up and pansy was already up. sitting across from her on her own bed, reading a book.
"what's your book called? is it any good?" fran asked.
honestly she wasn't very interested. but she was trying to ease into a conversation.. to ask how pansy slept, what with taking 5 laxatives last night.
"it's okay, i suppose. passing the time away kind of nicely. what were you after?" pansy smirked.
fran returned her smile. "i wanted to ask how you slept what with... those, you know...last night."
pansy put her book down. "fran. i'm 18. i'm old enough to know better. but i'm sick. also, fairly immune to these devil pills. since being her 5 weeks ago, i've somehow managed to take, starting with 3, that's 1 pill above the recommended dose-"
fran jumped in, "i know."
"and only at 5 now. back home, before being caught, i was up to 10. i'm trying to build it up slowly this time. it's an expensive habit, as you probably know, kiddo. i wish i could tell you it gets better or some lovey dovey shit like that." pansy propped up her pillows. "i honestly wish it did."
fran just looked at her for a few seconds. then sighed. then perked up herself in her bed. "have i managed to miss breakfast?"
pansy laughed a little, "you wish! nancy will have saved you something. there's also cereal readily available! good luck with escaping that. are you diagnosed with anorexia? not eating seems to be 'your thing'?"
fran didn't like cereal. eli did. she winced. "yeah. kind of. i'm not diagnosed. this was the step before for me. i've never been to a professional for whatever before this."
"how did you end up here then?" pansy questioned.
"my mum found this place. my friend.. he told her. he said he never would. but i guess he just tried to help me, in his own way."
"oh, i see. well you should head to the bathroom. get dressed. eat breakfast."
"i will. i think i have a tutor coming today." fran replied.
"good luck. bev's a good tutor. you will probably be having bev."
"pansy," fran paused. "thank you for being so nice. i'll see you later."

author note: sorry for not updating so long.. i will try to update more. if anyone's still reading!! let me know your thoughts :-)