Soo now that pretty much half of the world are quarantined and the other half is dead, I suddenly remembered you.
It's been a awhile. And you haven't talked. I understand why. But I guess I still selfishly want you to be stubborn rather than the understanding person you are.
How are you? New state, transferring schools, different grade- everything must be difficult. But you were always more on the naturally intellectual group rather than the selective idiotic group that I am in so i won't be surprised if your doing well as GUCCI.
You probably are, considering how I don't get random texts at some unGodly hour anymore. I would say stay safe and wear masks but you already know xD.
Your coming to our school lately. Meeting your friends and others. You look happy.
Your hair has grown longer too. You look pretty.
And i'm ignoring you again. I know nothing whatsoever comes out of it but I still do.
Not everybody knows about your confession. Most of them are thinking it was one-sided which i also thought for quite a long time. But then you just had to prove me wrong at the last minute. When you were leaving the whole goddamn state, your friends and family and me.
I don't know what the flying shit you thought was good about this but then again I can't blame you. I liked you a lot, enough to forgive you i guess. And you were way too much introverted so most of the time i didn't know what shit was going through your head or else i would've made the first move ages ago.
All this time that got wasted because I thought you were too good to be with someone like me, and you, who couldn't muster enough courage to confess. Before it got too late, anyway.
And then I rejected you, because no matter how much effort we would've gave to this long distant relationship, it wouldn't have worked. Your too far. Too far above, for me to reach you. And no this is not ego nor is it insecurity. It's just the reality.
And then there is the society, my family, your family, our religions. Everything and everyone would've been against us.
So I'm sorry that i couldn't love you because of how our world is. And I'm sorry for all those times I didn't reply to your texts even though you were only checking up on me.
You just left me and everyone all of a fucking suddenly telling me that you like me at the day you left. So it was more than fcking hard for me.
Whatever. I understand your reasons. I'm just still trying to move on and i'm quite successful at it but you keep on thrusting your way into my life, whether it be through texts, phone calls or even birthday gifts. And maybe i should just stop mopping over a failed love like a coward and finally face you.
Yeah. I'd like to finally meet you. Whenever you can. I'm not gonna ignore you this time.
To, that over intellectualled ass who just so happened to be the person I liked for over 2 years now.
+
first love.
