After one Kiss! [YiZhan FF]✔️

27.

I have always thought that a relationship starts, you have a good time and then you have to fight against the bad times. But I was taught better. And slowly but surely it's really starting to piss me off.

We had been together for less than four weeks when we were already constantly discussing that we had too little time for each other. Then Yibo didn't talk to me for days. And when he returned after two weeks, as announced, it started all over again.

At first I thought, hey, now that my night job doesn't exist anymore either, we can finally spend the one or other night together and finally have more time for each other.

But I was wrong. Not only that there was a fight because Hai Kuan helped me with the business plan. And Yibo thought I had something special to his brother after all. Again and again I explained to him that I only took his help because I had no one else to turn to and his mother even contacted me and reminded me of the business plan.

I also told him that it would not have been necessary to accept Hai Kuan's help if he had helped me as he promised. But instead of understanding my argument, he became even angrier.

Of course, I also told him immediately that, if I had to, I only met him in a café. But that didn't calm Yibo in the least. And then when he calmed down a bit and told me he was just very jealous and was afraid that his brother would try something on me. He had to leave. For another three weeks.

Which means we only had two days, and we wasted them arguing. I'm really running out of patience here.

I am really ready to approach Yibo and, at his request, I didn't look for a new second job. Because he wished that we could finally have more time together.

Furthermore I promised him not to meet his brother anymore if he is not there. I even gave in to the question about the free room in the shared flat and promised to at least think seriously about moving in there.

But what do I get in return? What will Yibo give me? He takes job after job after job and I can't do more than wait for him to contact me or show up.

Of course I know that Yibo cares about his modeling job and that he earns his money with it. And that this job also requires him to travel a lot. That he has to take on every possible assignment to stay in this business.

Sometimes he is so tired from his many shootings, the travelling from place to place, that he doesn't even have time to get in touch. Or he's just too tired. And when he does get in touch, he often falls asleep on the phone.

To be honest, I don't know if I want to have such a relationship. Even though I knew it would be hard. But I never imagined how hard it would really be. Maybe I am overdoing it with my worries and my many thoughts, but Yibo is not doing anything at the moment to take these worries and thoughts away from me. His behavior is actually increasing them.

Since I just need some distraction from all this and maybe a little encouragement and attention, I will travel to my parents for a few days and think about how my relationship should continue with Yibo. Because I am not ready to give up yet. But I don't want to have to fight alone either.

Right now I am sitting in my apartment all evening again, next to my phone, waiting for Yibo to call me. In his message he wrote to me that he would call me at 8 pm. Now it is already 10:45 pm.

And I already suspect that he won't get in touch with me at all again. Then he will only write me again that he is too tired or already on the way to the airport for the flight to the next shooting.

Can somebody tell me how I should continue now? Does this relationship have a future? Or am I trying to talk myself into a nice way through because of my feelings for Yibo and just don't want to see that our time hasn't come yet?

Well, and then there is one other thing. My boss, the director of the museum apparently praised me. A week ago, I got a call from Hongkong, from one of the biggest museums there. They offered me a job and it would pay even better than the current one. I would also be travelling with archaeologists to bring artefacts to Hong Kong from where they were found in other countries.

This is an offer that is worth more than one consideration. It's a one-time offer and it will definitely never come back. And the only thing stopping me from accepting it so far is my love for Yibo.

My love for him and desire to be with him. But if I accept the job, it will probably mean the end of my relationship with Yibo. How will we find the time to see each other then?

Torn between my feelings, the constant stress in my still fresh relationship and the insanely great offer to work in Hongkong and to be in a better position than I am now. I don't know what to do. And I can't even talk about it with Yibo, because he is always too busy and has no time, or is just too tired.

I wish someone would tell me what to do next. Someone who would take the decision off my hands.

I have one small hope. I hope I will find a solution for my problems in the days I will spend with my parents. Maybe it will help me to make a decision.

However, I already know in which direction my decision could go. At least if Yibo and I don't slowly find a better way for us.

Somehow it must be possible for us to function as a couple. That he also starts to do something for our relationship and doesn't just rely on my feelings to keep me with him.

Because at the moment I don't feel loved by my boyfriend, I don't feel respected by him and I don't feel understood at all. It is as if I am a single person and just from time to time I am in contact with someone I love.