Dear, Youngjae...
You were the absolute sweetest thing. You had me from the moment you showed up at my door with an armful of assorted flower bouquets and a nervous smile. You looked so soft, dressed in a white, cable knit cashmere sweater layered over a pale blue button down and light denim jeans.
You were the first partner I'd ever had that was younger than me, so from the very start, It was a new experience. It was like starting over with you; a clean slate. Completely different from my previous affairs.
Our first date remains my favorite. It was near exact what I'd imagined my ideal first date with someone would be. Our picnic at the park was truly unforgettable: The vase you brought to hold my flowers at the center of the checkered blanket, the portable radio you brought to play soft jazz, and of course, the homemade food from your mother was amazing.
Everything was so perfect. You were perfect. Everything from your cheesy smile to the way you'd get so easily excited about small things and point them out to me.
I truly thought you and I would last.
I'll admit that I never saw your betrayal coming. Even the drop-off after our first date was perfect. It was a stage no one else had even gotten past. The way you asked permission before lightly pecking my cheek was the sweetest thing, and I was surprised that you simply left it at that before heading back to your vehicle with the promise to message me later.
You were the first to not make any advances. Odd enough, you did quite the opposite.
Without any warning or heads up as to why, you gradually became more and more distant. You promised to message me, but I had to message you.
It went from me having to initiate the call, to you not even answering. It was heartbreaking. I thought things were going so well.
I remember seeming so desperate in the way I jumped on my phone at the sight of a text from you, how much time I took dolling myself up when I saw that the message was one asking for what would be our second meet-up.
You crushed me when you sat across from me, looked me in my eye, and told me you thought I was a really nice guy but you weren't ready for a relationship.
The way you strung me along helplessly for weeks up to that point. I respect your wishes, however. You weren't ready for a relationship when you had your chance, and now that window of opportunity has closed.
Truly a shame. I didn't want to let you go.
Sincerely, Jinyoung
