perilous - e.d | book 2

chapter six

FIVE YEARS EARLIER
two weeks after veronica's death

ETHAN

The sun dawns on the vibrant grass that seemed to glisten in the sunlight, it smelt freshly cut while crowds of people sorrowfully walked towards the casket that was being slowly lowered in to the ground. The atmosphere felt offensively bright and cheerful as if the universe was conspiring against me as if it were showing me how the world would go on without her. It shouldn't. It should be gloomy, grey, foggy even, just like the countless amount of emotions I was going through today.

Faint cries were heard all around me but I couldn't do anything but stand there quietly.

I felt numb.

Do you know what it's like to have the only person you truly loved– and the fact that I realized when she was taking her final breaths that she really is the one and only person in my life that I would have ever loved till my dying breath, for that one person to die in your arms? To watch it happen? It sucks, nothing will ever compare to the pain I felt when I saw the life in her eyes completely disappear.

I look away and the feel the single tear I was restraining myself from fall along my rosy cheeks, until I felt a soothing hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to stay strong for anyone here Ethan. It's okay to cry." Grayson whispers from next to me.

I felt like I needed to be strong.

For Veronica.

"It'll be okay baby." An arm snakes it's way onto my arm as I smile down at her.

I couldn't keep lying to her like this. She didn't deserve to be treated like this especially when I love– loved; a different woman.

I stepped up on the podium and looked at the sitting faces on either side of the church, none of them knew Veronica. Not like I did.

"I want to make this quick." Was the first sentence that came out of my mouth. It sounded insensitive but I didn't want to express my sorrow and love in front of people who would forget about her in a day or two.

"She was someone special in all our hearts. A daughter, a bestfriend, an amazing woman. I couldn't have been more proud of the person she would've been today, the woman she worked hard to be. A role model for all of us, and she will always remain in our hearts. And I know, she'll always be watching over us when we need her." I felt my voice crack as it began getting harder to breath, almost like a bundle of bricks were weighing down on my chest.

I just wanted her back, just so I could tell her I loved her one more time, I didn't even get to see her again after that dreadful night. They just took her away, even at the funeral they didn't show her beautiful face despite my protests.

I felt Grayson drag me from the podium and back to where we sat, the service still going on for sometime after that, but I didn't bother paying any attention after that. To add to my list of annoyances I saw her parents whom I've been trying to avoid. I mean I hadn't even seen them since high school? Since I broke their little girls heart. God knows how much they hate me, and the fact they were making their way over to me now didn't help calm my nerves. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to them, even if they lost someone too.

"Ethan." Veronica's mom calls out as she neared the vicinity. She stood tall and was definitely the more intimidating one from the two.

"Mr. and Mrs. Grey." I breath out anxiously.

"How're you doing sweetheart?" She responds, to which I'm taken aback.

"I'm doing okay, i'll get through it, and yourselves?" I say not spewing out too much unnecessary information.

"Look I know we ended off on a bad note but I know Veronica would've wanted us to get along. I'm deeply sorry what you might be feeling right now, just know we're here, don't hesitate to ask for anything son, we know how much you both loved eachother." Veronica's dad chimes in a small smile on his face.

They hadn't cried once throughout the whole service, not to mention eerily seeming not sad that they're only daughter is dead, which made the ordeal a lot more suspicious, but I chose to ignore it.

I nod towards them in acknowledgement and decide this was the best time for me to back out of the conversation.

Going home I did think over a lot of things, why was this such a common thing to happen to me? Why had I been to more funerals than I had fallen in love? Something was going on here and it wasn't sitting well with me. It also didn't help that Ava was unusually quiet, her and Ronnie were friends weren't they?

Of course not Ethan, in what world are a current girl– wife and an ex friends?

"This is the biggest chapter of our lives E!"
Ava exclaims once we enter the steps of our new house. "This is where our kids– little us' will be running around causing trouble, and I wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else." She connects her lips with mine, a feeling of warmth entering my body, a feeling that I missed.

She was right, this is the start of our lives, a new chapter.

A do over.

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hope u all are ok and staying safe, love u.

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