i found a reason- destiel (high school au)

chapter one

dean hated looking at neighborhoods when they moved. beige cities, towns, villages. all the same. a blue house with lawn ornaments that stuck up from the ground like bear traps. a park with a stone fountain and a statue. a playground atop sharp woodchips, kids in the playground, chipped paint and skinned knees. it's all the same. it's everywhere. every small town in the east was always the same, and dean would know, he's seen them all. 

the winchesters were moving yet again. john tapped his fingers against the steering wheel to some music that was playing on the radio, a song so faint dean couldn't quite make out the words, and sam was in the backseat. reading a book by an author dean didn't know, and wouldn't care to know, and picking at an irritated pimple on his forehead.

dean fondly threw an old, balled-up napkin at him. "stop picking at it, you'll only make it worse." sam smiled and stuck his tongue out at him.

john smiled. "so, good news, we're renting a house this time..."

sam grinned and sat up straight in the back seat."hell yeah!"

sam loved when they rented houses. it meant having a home, one with multiple rooms and multiple beds and a tv that played something other than sports and news. it meant dad was getting a job, a semi-permanent one, and sam would have time to adjust, and make friends, and win the science fair, and be normal for once in his life.

but dean hated it.

he hated staying in one place for too long, he hated the feeling of a town closing in on him. he hated school, and meaningless life lessons and teen drama and prom. he hated going on dates and meeting girls parents, he hated the feeling of lipstick plastered on his cheek. he liked sex, and he liked to leave in the morning, quiet as a mouse.

they arrived at some house in the outskirts of the neighborhood, two stories with a wooden exterior that looked close to rotting off, broken windows boarded up with wood slabs  and a creaky wooden porch swing enrobed in vines.

but dean knew sam would absolutely adore the house, and sam did.

with a goofy grin, sam sprinted inside, screaming "I call dibs on the biggest room!"

dean chased after him. "I think the hell not! get back here, sammy!"

and thus dean was stuck with the smallest room. which he didn't mind all that much.

he unpacked a few shirts and jeans into a busted up dresser he had found and slumped onto the creaky metal bed.

he could see sammy across the hallway, sticking little stickers on his wall and putting up some dorky poster.

"sam, you better not be putting stickers on the wall!" john yelled from downstairs. sam hesitantly replied "i'm not!" before sticking a few more on there. 

dean couldn't help but smile. he liked seeing sam happy, even if it meant staying in this rotten town for a few months. for a few seconds dean sat there, envisioning him and sammy's life if things were... different.

they'd have a dog, a golden retriever named bones. dean would go to sammy's debate competitions and watch as he'd kick their asses, sammy would watch his football games from the bleachers and cheer him on with exuberantly colored face paint. dean would have a girlfriend. captain of the cheer team, or the girl's soccer team, or the chess club. they'd date. dean would meet her parents.

and mom....

mom would be there too. and she'd make them tomato rice soup when they got sick and sing "hey jude" when they couldn't fall asleep because that was her favorite beatles song. she would teach sam the piano and teach dean how to cook spaghetti.

dean began to feel utterly homesick and turned to look at sam again. he was putting a trophy on an old desk. dean didn't know what the trophy was for, and that broke his heart.

living like that would be a pipe dream, but dean didn't care very much. he decided that this time, he'd keep his head stuck in his ass. he'd worry about prom and teen drama. he'd get a girlfriend. for the first time in his life, dean michael winchester promised he would try.