Love Is Dangerous

C15

Sana's POV

What am I actually doing to myself?

I can't figure out what the hell was wrong with me. There wasn't any logical explanation for everything that's been happening, so I'm not sure what I was doing.

Everything that has been happening with Tzuyu confused me just as much as it's been confusing her.

I wish I could do something about it, and I believe me I want to, but there's consequences with every action.

Dahyun was my wife. Yes, I loved her, but the love just isn't there anymore. I don't know what happened, but our love faded away.

We've tried things to try to get our marriage back, but it only made things worse.

She's not the same woman that I fell in love with. She's different, and I have yet to figure out why. She won't talk to me about anything hardly, so it only leaves me guessing in the end.

We've been married for eight years. We met when we were in high school, and started dating when we graduated. We followed each other through college, then ended up getting engaged by the time we finished.

I was nineteen when we got engaged.

Our marriage was perfect to say the least, and everything was great. There were hardly any fights, and we got along well. It was a dream come true because I always dreamt about having a great life and getting married to a woman that I love.

I love Dahyun, but I'm no longer in love with her.

If she found out, I don't know what she would do. I'm pretty sure she would tell me the same thing, because I can see it in her eyes that she no longer feels the same way. 

She's hardly ever there.

She acts like it in public, but there's a lot more shit behind closed doors.

I would never say that Dahyun was abusive, but she can get aggressive sometimes. It scares me, yes. But, I try to not enable her as much as I can.

The only real harm that she has ever caused me was most likely from grabbing my wrists too harshly and leaving marks.

Other than that, she just yells in my face.

I know what you're thinking; I should leave. 

Believe me, it's been in the back of my mind for a few years now. But, I can't leave her because I'm scared of what she might do. I don't think she would ever really hurt me, but she can get very angry at times, even over the smallest things, so that leaves me having to stay with her until I know when the right time is to actually talk to her.

I want a divorce.

I've been wanting one for a while, and it's always in the back of my head but never on the tip of my tongue. I can never bring myself to talk to her about it, because I don't know what her reaction would be.

So, I'm left in this marriage that I no longer want to be in.

As for Tzuyu Chou , I can't even begin to explain the kind of attraction I have towards her. It's terrible to say the least, because I'm older and I'm her principal. 

Plus, I'm married.

But, that somehow didn't stop me that one night at the bar when I saw her next to me. I knew she was hitting on me, because I know what it's like to be hit on. Even at first, I knew but I tried to ignore her as much as I possibly could.

But, that was very hard to do.

The way she was staring at me, and that look in her eyes, it made me realize that I could do this one time thing to get my mind off of shit. I knew that I had walked into that bar with a purpose, because I removed my wedding ring in the process of having someone, anyone just walk up to me and talk to me.
I didn't intend of having sex with anyone, but Tzuyu Chou was one hell of an exception.