The Superleague Of Villains?

My stummy hurt.

"My stomach hurts..." Akumu says, on the verge of just passing out, Dabi is mumbling "stummy hurt" by Playboy Carti (see video above for reference point). Everyone seems to be in hunger pains, except Puzzle Chest and The Great Killshot cause they're fucking robots.

"On top of our hunger, it's boring as hell, I fucking hate being quarantined." Wildweed angrily says.

"It's better being bored than being sick." Shigaraki says.

"I mean the only people here who would struggle is Kagu-Tsuchi, and Kalinso, two old ass motherfuckers..." Akumu says. Kagu-Tsuchi takes offense to it but Kalinso doesn't really seem to care.

"I'm only 42!" Kagu-Tsuchi says.

"And I'm 18. You're old." Akumu laughs in pain.

"You can say what you want, I'm only 26." Kalinso says, this immediately gets everyone's attention. "Y'all looking at me like I got a dick on my forehead, what's good."

"You're only 26?!" Shigaraki rubs his temples.

"HOW DO YOU HAVE A HUNCHBACK AT 26?" Kagu-Tsuchi stares at him.

"It's called birth defects, assholes." Kalinso sighs and everyone seems to be okay with that.

"We need some entertainment. And some food." Shigaraki rubs his chin. Suddenly Seiteki jumps up.

"You three handsome gentleman should put on a cooking show for us!"

"I'm not handsome and if you need me to check your eyes I'll gladly do so." Kalinso sternly says.

"Yeah what he said." Shigaraki says. Kagu-Tsuchi just shrugs at the remark.

"But we could do that." Kagu-Tsuchi says. So the three get up and realize they don't have a kitchen. 

"Eh, I got it. You got any ice cubes?" Kalinso asks them, both shake their heads.

"Aight, Bootleg, pass an ice cube!"

Puzzle Chest grabs an ice cube and throws it at him. Kalinso does some voodoo chant and creates a whole kitchen.

"Wait, if you can make a whole kitchen, why not just make us some fuckin food." Dabi yells at him. Kalinso stops.

"Okay if you want that, I'm gonna have to ask you for a really weird ass request."

"Pfft, you can't throw anything at me that I won't-"

"I need a human head and someone's scrotum."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Then beg."

Dabi sighs and goes outside.

Timeskip about 10 minutes

Dabi walks in holding a head and a scrotum.

"And why do you need these?!"

"To make the meat."

"I'M NOT EATING MEAT MADE WITH A MAN'S SCROTUM."

"If it makes it any better, it tastes better than the actual meat."

"Fun fact, it doesn't."

"Fun fact, I no longer care for your input."

So Kalinso took the items and created... Much more than just regular meat and actually created everyone's favorite foods. Everyone seemed to be concerned, but they were content with it either way. Everyone dug in to their meals, but Kagu-Tsuchi was still cooking, sushi apparently. So Kalinso took a bottle of Faygo soda and poured it in the rice, mixed it up and then just acted like he didn't just do that shit, then he whistles and walks next to Shigaraki.

"Well at least we're not all starving now right? Hahaha..." Kalinso nervously laughs.

"What did you do?" Shigaraki looks at him quizzically.

"You'll find out in 3... 2... 1..."

"WHY THE FUCK IS MY RICE GREEN?" Kagu-Tsuchi yells out.

"Oh, just food coloring?" Shigaraki looks at the American hating villain.

"No, green colored soda." Kalinso tries to avoid looking at Kagu-Tsuchi. Shigaraki pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs.

So about 1 hour later, Shigaraki decides he wants to declare war on U.A, or the classes that the 3 teams, and their two lackey teams want. Then Kurogiri teleported them all to the dorms of the three classes they were raring and ready to fight. Bang Crash Kaboom set up some fireworks that flew everywhere, crashing into trees and burning them, hitting windows and breaking them. The students all came out to see what the fuck happened, not knowing the fight about to pursue, as the villains leapt out the shadows, ready for battle...