two sides of the same moon

nonsense

"Eunsuh..." An exasperated whisper escaped from the mouth of her most beloved. "What happened to you?" 

The painfully vulnerable girl glanced up through bleary, tear-swollen eyes. He stared down at her so pitifully, as if she was just as frail and breakable as he imagined. A snowflake that would melt on contact or a glass cannon shattered from use. She spent all of her waking moments protecting her own image, simply playing the highlight reel of her life: one that always excelled, had flawless self-esteem, and couldn't be hurt by any means. Any time someone saw a peek behind the facade, they were thoroughly disappointed, as her twin was now, that she wasn't better kept. That she was childish and unprepared for "the real world". That she could fall down as easy as a paper doll standing upright alongside all her little paper friends in a paper mansion verging on collapse. With just a few words, she could be shred to bits and left to pick up the pieces. The apathetic words just proved that even the best friend she had in her life wasn't someone she could rely on. 

"You know what happened," she spat back, paying no mind to the snot and tears running down her face. "And yet you look at me like I am a burden. You refuse to give any semblance of sympathy. Hard to tell we have shared a lifetime already together, the way you kick the sickly dog."

Perhaps she wasn't known well for her words, though she was more articulate than ever credit was given. Instead, she was infamous for her instinctual brutality. Throw words? She would throw fists in return. Decided to throw fists back? Most of the time, they were told to be grateful she didn't put them in a coma. But see, she would never do that. She would just break parts of their body that would leave them in agonizing pain but conscious enough to feel every second of it. Sometimes, her force was all that could express the rage she held inside every single day... But she could never bring herself to brutalize her own flesh and blood. Were her words cutting enough now? 

"How could I share sympathies with someone who is letting life slip right through their fingers? You have everything! I love you, Nico loves you, mother and father love you. We have provided what you need." he retorted, his voice rising in turn with each reason. "Why do you ditch school? Pass out in the hallways? Avoid class? Your grades are slipping. None of your friends care to visit-" 

His lips thinned and tightened as he steeled himself against the bellicose stare piercing through his heart. Nothing boiled Eunsuh's blood more than being told to be more visibly grateful. To be told that she wasn't acting right. What was fucked up with their society that she had to ascribe to some silent mandate to act with no emotion, to be flawless in thought, action, and attitude every second of every moment, for the fucking sake of appearances? Why did she have to suppress her being to save face? Why was every breath in honor of her family? 

"I pray you never feel the desperation or despair I feel. I can't even ask for help from the one person I would die for." 

In one fluid motion, Eunsuh pressed hard on her palms and stood, standing near chest to chest with Eunseom. 

"Don't touch me. Don't follow me. Don't call the authorities to find me. Stay as far away from me as possible." she whispered darkly, giving him one last, serious stare. He was the last person she thought would give up on her. "I love you, baby Moon." 

Eunseom's hands itched more than ever to reach out and take hold of her, shake some fucking sense into her. But, he rationalized, there was simply no way in hell she would run away from home and not return in a couple of days. She had always done this. Run away, gone to a friend's, hidden in an internet cafe, camped out at their grandparents' house until things had blown over and mother would let her back in the house. She always promised she wouldn't do it again - which she inevitably broke when things became too much - and swore that she would never do anything radical to hurt herself. She was sorry for causing panic and worry and shame. She would do more to be a better daughter. 

So he let her grab up her camping pack of things and only turned to face her once she had rounded the corner of the doorjamb. Tears streamed down her face, blurring the corridor ahead of her.

May you feel peace and love from those who surround you, baby brother.

Something felt different this time. The pit forming in his stomach told him...she might actually not return. 

Nonsense.