The Big Secret

Scaredy Cat

Waking up Monday morning, my back was hurting more than I wanted it to. I slept in thee weirdest position but it felt so good at the time.

I walked slowly to my bathroom and immediately got in my boiling hot shower after peeing.

"What to wear?" I said to myself standing in my closet.

"Fuck it we being lazy today. I dont have the time." I said grabbing some black sweats and a white shirt with black writing on it.

I walked to Landons room after I was ready to tell him I'm leaving in 10 minutes. I knocked on the door and he told me to come in.

"You woke hoe?" I said walking into the room and seeing him basically dressed he just didnt have on a shirt.

"Eww Landon nobody wanna see your bird chest. Put it up." I said laughing then sitting on his bed.

"Bitch make me throw something at you." He said giving me a stank face then laughing.

"I'm leaving in 10 minutes. So whether your ass got on a shirt or not you better be in that car or imma drag your ass out there." I said laying in his bed.

"Whatever bitch. I got a question."

"I hope I have an answer." I said chuckling a little.

"What you think gone happen when we get to school? You know with Micah and everything?"

"Is it weird that I haven't really given it any thought or stressed about it? I mean I choose not to because whatever happens happens. The ball is in his court and whatever he does today will ultimately determine what's gonna happen with our relationship. Do I hope he's changed?? Yes. But at the same time I know Micah." I said after a moment of thinking.

"I understand. And you know I'm right there for you through everything." He said coming to the bed and putting on his shirt he had laying on it.

"How do you feel about yesterday?" I asked him. He stood straight and thought about it for a second.

"Honestly. I'm upset that I wasn't able to really tell them how I felt. What I went through because of them. How they fucked me up emotionally. Even though Jared would've been happy about knowing that he messed me up mentally, it would've really gotten to my mom. I just feel bad for her. I dont know what she's going through in that house, and even though she fucked me over big time, I dont want anything bad to happen to her." He said sitting in his chair next to his bed.

"You believe what Shelly said?"

"Yeah I do. I don't know how my mom was so surprised but I guess to each their own." He said shrugging his shoulders.
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Pulling up to school I was already over it. I saw Micahs car and immediately dreaded going in there. Some girls would be so anxious. Getting up hella early, getting cute and shit, getting to school an hour earlier than what they have to, giving themselves pep talks the entire morning, doing anything to rush the process. But me... I sat in my car and just looked.

Should I just play sick and go home?

I constantly went back and forth with myself. Landon had gotten out of the car to go talk to a teacher about a project and I didnt see Cory anywhere. So I was alone. I have no idea where Micah is and for the first time I'm grateful for it.

Why am I so scared?

I'm sitting in my car acting like a little bitch because I'm scared Micahs gonna revert back to his old ways and have me out here looking stupid after I put my heart on the line, YET AGAIN, and took him back, fully trusting that he's gonna change and things are gonna be different.