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Last time, I ain't give a fuck, I still feel the same now. My feelings might go numb, you're dealing with cold thumb _______
"ooo, mante you smell like straight gas" my friend jason said to me, i didn't do much but laugh. i couldn't think of anything to do but laugh. i didn't care if i smelled like weed, why would it matter anyways? "the way in which i do not care" i shrugged and pull a blunt out my pocket.
"y'all tryna..." i looked around the room for a nod or two, but all i saw was frowns.
"fuck no, we just smoked an hour ago. you blow through weed like it's nothing" jason said almost like he was disgusted. ironically, both of our dads were police officers. crazy right? maybe that's why him and i could do basically whatever we wanted.
"man whatever, you tryna hit up this party later?" jason asked scrolling through his phone.
"will there be—"
"yes mante there will be weed, you fucking addict"
the room was silent, dead silent nobody dared to say anything. the word was a taboo subject for me, 'addict'. what my mother was and what my father hoped for me not to be. all eyes were on me waiting for my rebuttal, and because i didn't want to start any problems i just laughed; awkwardly not to mention.
the whole room burst out into laughter, only theirs was genuine. i chuckled for real this time, they seemed to think having a crack addict for a mother was funny, but now that i think about it maybe it is funny?
"bro you know i'd never say that about you"
"yeah, haha" i nodded playing with the lighter in my hand, "you'd never."
most of the time, the bullshit that came out of my Jason's mouth were on a different level of stupid. i don't say much though. our friendships has been set in stone since before we were born so who am i to break it up.
"my nigga—" once jason uttered that word, the word my white father always told me to never say, the word i always would get called randomly while walking the streets of my white suburban neighborhood, the word jason begged to get a pass to say.
i shut my eyes tightly, you never know how bad a word can bother you till you hear it. over and over and over again, but he didn't say it in an offensive way so it's okay right? right? i stayed silent, just shrugging it off it wasn't the time nor place to correct him, in all honesty i never did. why would i? it's just a word.
