Handling Grief

Chapter Nine

By the time I resumed from my suspension on Monday, the beginning of the tenth week in school, I was unrecognizable.

I wasn't solemn yet at the same time I wasn't ecstatic. I wasn't for the bad ass bitches neither was I for the holier than thous. I was just my person. It was hard for them to really point out what had gone wrong.

Well, a few of them found it hard.

"Are you taking drugs, Mirabel?" came a question from Tolani. She made sure she dropped her voice really low. She had pulled me to the toilet.

"I'm on drugs now" I laughed. I had fallen in love with weed. It was perfect. Apart from helping me to forget my dilemmas and helping me win Aunty Chichi's heart back again, it helped me feel so good.

Euphoric! Yeah, that was how I always felt. I was always mixing mine up, with tea or coke so the effects wouldn't come fast but would last long.

On the second Monday of my suspension, Dianne invited me to her friend's birthday party. She told her mom her church had a special vigil for teenagers and that was all it took to get her permission. Or maybe we were able to get it because we had sniffed weed and were acting humble to her. We were acting like children of God!

The party was legit! If I was not under the effects of weed, I would have run away from the noise and different colours. But I was literally hearing colours and seeing sounds and it made me happy beyond all I could imagine!

I rocked on wildly as if it was my birthday. Sometimes, myself and Dianne would go sniff some other drugs, especially the club drug. We kept sniffing and snorting the Ecstasy until I didn't know what I was doing anymore.

I woke up the next day, laughing. I had a sweet dream that all I could remember was that it was sweet. Dianne and I went home immediately we washed our faces but we were still high.

We had to make sure we didn't wake Aunty Chichi. After we had successfully reached my room, I complained to Dianne that my butt hurt.

"You had sex, bitch!" she screamed.

"Stop shouting for fuck's sake!" I shouted back, thinking I was whispering.

"I want you to be more deliberate and sober this time" she said with a smirk.

"Huh, nope, I'll pass. With the way my butt hurts, I'm so not thinking of sex again"

I changed my mind though after visiting my mom and finding out that her provisions had finished. I called my aunty to help. She wanted to but she was broke and could only part with a thousand naira which would keep my mom for a day or two.

When I told Dianne, she said, "That was what I meant by deliberate. Do you want to know who buys me those designer clothes?"

"Who?" I asked, taking a sniff of weed.

"Church boys" she answered with a wicked grin.

She and Priscilla fixed a Wednesday appointment with one Deacon Obi. He was married with two daughters. Yet, he agreed to pay me five thousand naira because I wasn't really a member of their church! After the sex, he added two thousand naira so we could do another round!

As for me, I was in cloud nine. To get pleasure and pay at the same time was mind blowing to me. I called Dianne after my session with the deacon and begged her to fix me another appointment.

The next one was on the same day. His name was Brother Solomon, the keyboardist in the adult church. He was single and very good in bed. Unfortunately, he could only part with three thousand naira!

Anyways, splitting the money wisely, I was able to provide my mom food that would keep her for at least four or five days and I was able to buy designer clothes for myself.