Writings From My Life

Paralyzed

             When I say I feel alone, its not because I don't have people who care, its simply because nobody can understand the pain I am in daily. The emotional struggles I have. The physical struggles. The negativity and hopelessness that engulfs me. Depression is a real and prominent thing in a lot of peoples lives. And I am so sick of people telling me to try harder or don't see that I try at all. But what they don't realize is the effort it takes to sleep at all, get out of bed in the morning, eat. To even just breathe sometimes. So while it may not seem like I am trying, I am doing my best that i can in every moment, with what i know and the strength I have. That's another thing there. You can call me weak for self harming and hiding and crying and wanting to die, but let me ask you one simple question: Am i still sitting here alive and breathing? So you see, I am as strong as someone who is happy, if not stronger, because I do get up in the morning, I do eat, and I try my best to sleep even if its during the day. My depression and trauma follow me like a cloud that never goes away. Always lurking. Always restricting. Always suffocating. I'm not moving forward much these days. I'm paralyzed