Faetality |✓|

Chapter Thirteen, Part Two - Dead to Me

But no nuclear meltdown ensued in the James house, so I knew that as of yet, Margot had decided against asking. Perhaps she knew that for once, hearing the truth might not feel as good as she expected. It was clear that Dad wasn't ready to tell her the truth any more than Margot was ready to hear it.

And as for Lana, she reacted the opposite of Margie – completely refusing my apology entirely.

"Oh please Tamsyn – I totally screwed the pooch on this one too. I got all holier than thou and I acted like I knew everything. But c'mon, I'm an only child – I don't have brothers or sisters to look out for. I don't know the first thing about having a sister – even though I kinda wish I did. I mean, growing up an only kid was cool and everything but after a childhood that involved babysitting your parents and several of their adult friends after they've consumed an entire zip lock bag of mushrooms, I'm pretty sure it's a good thing that my parents decided to start using condoms again. Not that they're bad people it's just LSD in the 90's is a lot different from LSD in the sixties, ya know? It causes for a lot more accidents at home than you'd think –"

"Lana, as any good friend would do, I'll save you from yourself and just stop you right there. Besides, you were right. Lying to Margot is wrong. And I will tell her the truth. I'm just waiting for a good moment. Right now it sucks at home."

"Aw that really sucks. I toooootally understand... And ok, yeah, so I still think I'm right, but it doesn't change the fact that I was wrong for coming down on you so hard. How you handle your relationship with your sister is your business and as your friend, I should've respected that."

Again I was reminded of the stark differences between my friendships with Lana and Sienna. Sienna most definitely would've accepted the apology, but not because she felt responsible, or even good-natured. She would've accepted only so that she could hold it above my head later, as any best frenemy would've done. But not Lana. Lana was different. And for once, different was good.

* * *

That afternoon, three pretty girls, all dressed in black, crossed a quiet street together with arms that were protectively linked from the cold. The wind blew past and ruffled their neat hair but couldn't penetrate the thickness of their warm, winter coats that lay above cute but respectively modest dresses. With Lana on my right and Margot on my life, I strode in between the other two girls, feeling safer than I had in a long time. Only a short time had passed since the announcement of his death and each reminder of him still stung like a raw wound. And the worse part? I felt even guiltier for simply not having the time to feel worse. Sure, Dean's death hurt, but it should've crushed me. This didn't truly feel like mourning.

"So... all the tears – fake or real?" Lana whispered, looking around at the small clumps of darkly clad folks that were scattered across the lawns of the church.

"Totally fake," Margot whispered back, flashing a silver-toothed grin.

"Guys," I hissed. "Some of them are real. And some of them actually cared about Dean – me included. So can we try to get through this without getting kicked out?"

"Says the girl executing a B&E at a funeral," Margie shot back. "I mean, I gotta admit – that is a pretty bad-girl stunt. Even for me."

"Margie, no matter what I do you will always be the reigning detention rat – and no one can take that away from you. Now, with that said, I'm only sneaking into the private viewing room because I have to look at Dean's face. It's not morbid at all! Tell her, Lana."

"Ok," Lana replied, flashing me a bright smile. "Margot, you're sister's totally lying to you. The fact that she's gonna go look at her dead ex-boyfriend at a closed-casket funeral is definitely creepy. Oh – but totally justifiable, yeah."