I don't have to strength to get up anymore. I don't have strength to reach the surface. I don't have the fight to talk anymore. I laugh and hope that nobody will notice.
My mind is a tunnel and I'm crawling through to try and reach the light. I don't know what to do. I am drowning in the pain, in the fear, in the tears, it's all the same. I am drowning, soft and slow. I'd breathe the water in and just let go if I didn't have promises to keep. If I didn't want to wake so much, I'd stay right in this dream. Drowning.
I walk through my day, the clock in my head keeps ticking. I try everything but nothing seems to be sticking. I close my eyes, I count to ten, I breathe in and out again. It doesn't help I'm still stuck in this mess. My brain won't stop counting and the math defines my life. But the numbers don't add up, I wasn't built quite right. It's not a malfunction in the mirror, it's a malfunction in my mind. The picture won't get clearer, the camera isn't broken, I am. I am drowning in this apathy, indifference and insanity. My hands grasp the water as I climb to get free, but these chains hold me down. Chains of insecurity. My mind, my greatest weapon against everyone and myself.
I am drowning soft and slow. I say, "it's alright. I'll make it on my own."
YOU ARE READING
From my heart to yours
PoetryThis is a book of poetry and lyrics written from the depths of my heart and I want to share these poems with you.
