the gift ⌯ am

alcohol

|austin|

     I had found a note on my car from Madison, making my heart drop. She just left without saying goodbye and broke our promise. No. No one can do that to me.

Dear Austin,
     Listen. I had to go. Don't get so pissy or anything. See you tomorrow.

     No explanation. No nothing. She just left and it infuriates me. When I get angry, no one can stop me and she needs to hear me out. So I got into my car, slamming the door hard, and shoving the keys in. She is going to hear me out whether she likes it or not. So I drive straight to her house, stepping on the gas, and not stopping at the red signs that read pointless words that no one really listened to.

     I pull up to her house, getting out without a second thought. I then head straight to her front door, knocking on it with a hard bang. I honestly think it's so pathetic about how much I want her. But Madison is like a drug that I just got addicted to. Her presence is always so comforting to me.

     I'm surprised as the door is opened by a much older lady, and giggle erupts from her lips. She struggles to keep the door open, and grips on it to keep herself balanced. She looks a lot older then Madison, but definitely related.

     "Hey cutie," she purrs, giggling more. I had to raise an eyebrow as she grips me by my shirt and pulls me in. I can smell the alcohol reeking from her breath, and I know she's drunk. She's flat out piss drunk.

     I notice this woman is not a teenager. She has wrinkles from either getting older or just stress. She has brown hair, blue eyes, and she sadly is a mess.

     "Uh, I'm looking for-"

     "Austin?" I hear her voice ask, and I avert my gaze over to her. She's walking down the stairs glancing from me to the woman besides me.

     "Madi, you didn't tell me you had a little boy toy to have fun with," the woman teases, and I can see Madison cringe at the way her words slur. Whoever this lady is Madison does not feel comfortable in her presence and it worries me.

     "Getting a good fuck in?" She continues, and my gaze snaps over to her. The woman just smirks.

     "Mom..." Madison whispers, and my heart drops. This is... her mom. This drunken mess is her mom, and I finally realize coming here was probably a mistake. I was being a dick and being full of myself. When I look back at Madison she looks to the floor, unable to explain herself, which is unlike her. I figured she would snap back. Fight her off. But she stays quiet.

     I decide to go to Madison. My feet go up the stairs slowly, making sure she knows my presence is known. Her head slowly lifts up when she spots my feet. In my eyes I show her that I want to stay with her. I want to be in her presence and that she shouldn't be embarrassed.

     I then look back, seeing Madison's mom trudging her way into a different room. I took this as a sign to get her back to her room. So I place my hand on the lower of her back and guide her. I'd been inside before with Madison. One day after school she had let me in for a minute. Just taking in her house seemed to put me in shock at how beat down it is inside. I felt bad and I still feel bad.

     I open her door, guiding her in and without speaking I pull her into my arms. Madison doesn’t hug me back though, simply pushing him off in a harsh manner.
 
     “Why the fuck are you here?” she asks, furrowing her eyebrows in anger. She just looks adorable though, making it hard to be scared of her. As direct as she was being I couldn’t be serious so I laugh.
 
     Madison furrows her eyebrows even more in confusion, making her look even more innocent then before. I use that to my advantage, trying to read her, but I can’t. Madison isn’t always the easiest person to read since she’s so mysterious most of the time. I always seemed to wonder what she thought about when no one was watching. Was it me?
 
     “You should go home,” Madison just says, sighing at the fact I won’t take her seriously. She doesn’t seem mad either because I can sense a little sadness in her voice. I had just witnessed another secret in Madison’s life and she doesn’t like that. She seems disappointed of who she is, and she shouldn’t be.
 
     Madison is nothing and will never be anything like her mother.
 
     “Madison… don’t be embarrassed,” I speak up, letting my hand go up to caress her cheek. I expect Madison to scoff; disgusted at the fact my hand is touching her flawless face. She doesn’t though, looking into my eyes. For a moment, I feel the pain Madison feels from in her eyes. I can sense the disappointment, and embarrassment. I can see how strong Madison is.
 
     “You are nothing and never will be anything like her,” I say to Madison, and before even I can react Madison pushes me off of her.
 
     “Get out!” she states, angrier then before. It makes me furrow my eyebrows, but I don’t listen because I felt like I was going to break through to her.
 

     “Madison, I just want you happy…” I admit.

 
     “Wanna make me happy. Austin? Stay out of my life. Get away from it and never come back. I don’t need someone parading into my life and starting to care. Leave and I swear to god if you come back…” her voice cracks, and I can tell she’s about to cry. She holds her ground though, continuing, “Just go.”
 
      I never felt true heartbreak until I saw a tear slide down Madison’s face.
 
      I kept my promise though. I walked out of that house, and I didn’t come back.